Why do we have to wait for a husband, while it seems other women just woke up one day and fell in love and are now in beautiful relationships that become perfect marriages?
Why are we single women who want to be married being tested with waiting and patience and not others?
How do you know if you are waiting for something that is coming? Who is to say God is working through you as you wait?
Is there even a future husband coming and is the will of God for us to be married? Is being a single woman part of God’s plan for your life?
Being single with aspirations of marriage is hard and will continue to be hard.
There are more questions than answers in this journey and each day they continue to pile up. Unfortunately, no one has all the answers.
The society we live in, and our wishes and dreams haunt us every day.
But you know that life is not a straightforward path. And that’s what makes it beautiful and exciting. The fact that we don’t know what tomorrow holds is scary, but we have comfort in that we know who holds the future. And we know that he cares about us and wants what is best for us.
Before you continue reading, remember you are exactly where you should be. Your single life matters to God.
Now let’s move on to the heart of this blog post. These are the best ways to wait on God for a husband.
Here we discuss how to wait on God for a husband.
17 Things to do while waiting on God for a Husband
1. Wait
Waiting means, you are expecting something, and you need to be patient until you receive it. You could also be waiting to get to a certain destination, and you have to wait to get there. Although you might always ask, are we there yet, you do still need to wait.
The danger most of us fall into is that we don’t want to wait. Instead, we embark on a different journey and try to fix the situation ourselves.
As a single woman, I did try to build a romantic relationship on my own without God. This was because God seemed to not be interested in my situation and I was tired of waiting. Needless to say, what I thought was my soul mate turned out to be someone else’s soul mate and that breakup was the worst I have ever gone through.
It was bad, and I am still healing from it.
But it was my own doing and lack of patience.
We tend to do things on our own because we believe the lies that the devil tells us that God does not care and that we are capable of doing just fine without God, but nothing is further from the truth.
Jesus warns us about the devil and his lies in John 10:10: ” The thief comes only in order to steal, kill and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life – life in all its fullness”.
So, what did I learn? When you are waiting on God for a husband, WAIT.
Do not settle for anything that looks and feels like the perfect husband.
2. Be a Proverbs 31 woman
While waiting for the perfect husband, work on yourself. Put in the hard work to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Christian singles have a standard set by God of how they should behave in marriage and it’s important to know this standard and be prepared for it, Pray this simple prayer:
“Dear God: Help me to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Guide me on the right path as I wait for Marriage”.
Read Proverbs 31 and master it. Your husband is praying for a proverbs 31 wife so if you put in the work to be that it’s likely to be a perfect match.
3. Pray without ceasing for the future husband you want.
Yes, you definitely guessed it right. Prayer is top of the list. Why? because prayer is a way to talk to God about everything including your season of singleness. Get into the habit of prayer and lean into God’s promises.
Going through this season of being single I found myself crying day in and day out. Whenever I tried to pray and talk to God, words do not come out. I am numb and only tears fall down my cheeks. I am overwhelmed by life and the situation. Honestly praying for a husband is one of the hardest things I am going through. So, if you don’t want to pray it’s okay, I understand.
However, consider this, the only person who can change that situation and help you go through it is the Man above. Bear in mind I said “go through” it. The season of singleness will not disappear overnight so gear up and set your best foot forward.
Remember the story of Hannah? Hannah was always crying and refused to eat. She prayed fervently for God to give her children. Her season of pain was so heavy on her shoulders that when she went to the temple to pray, she could barely speak out loud, only her lips were moving, while she prayed silently.
To Eli (the priest) she was like a drunk woman bothering God. Her response to Eli was “I haven’t been drinking! I am desperate and I have been praying pouring out my troubles to the Lord. Don’t think I am a worthless woman. I have been praying like this because I’m so miserable.” (1 Samuel 1:15).
It’s important to tell God how you feel and how miserable you are through prayer. God loves you and he wants to hear how you feel.
Pray without ceasing is what we read in 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18. That means God does not want us to give up. He wants our prayer life to be continuous. We have to persist in prayer even if it seems like the prayers are bouncing off the ceiling and falling on deaf ears. In Isaiah 59:1 the Bible reassures us that God is not too deaf to hear our cry for help and our prayers.
So don’t stop praying, lay all your troubles at his feet persistently.
Other prayer warriors in the bible include Sarah and Esther. Read their stories and get motivation and inspiration.
If you are not sure what to pray for here are a few suggestions:
- Pray for God to give you peace during this period of being single
- Pray for your own heart and ask God to protect it and guard it during this difficult period
- Pray for your future spouse. Not only are you going through a single period but so is your future partner. He might need the strength to get through it as much as you do.
- Pray for God to help you to be content. You are not single by mistake and God loves you. He wants you to be where you are now, so you have to be content
- Pray for strength to go through this period. A lot of temptations and disturbances may come your way, but you need to stand strong in faith and what you believe in
- Pray for the Husband you want. Write down the kind of husband you want and the qualities and character you want. And when you pray bring that list before God. Remember to ask God to do his will. You may have a list but remember God knows best and he will give you what you need and what is best for you.
The difference between you as a child of God waiting for a husband and any other single lady out there is that you have a Father whom you can talk to. He loves and cares for you and you can offload all your burdens to him. Psalms 55:22 says “Leave your troubles with the Lord, and he will defend you; he never lets honest people be defeated.”
4. Be specific about the Husband you are waiting for
We spoke about praying for the kind of Husband you want. But what does that really look like? It means you get a pen and paper and write down what your ideal husband should be.
What kind of person do you want to spend your life with?
One person once said that when you pray for a life partner, be specific about what you want so that when God gives it to you, you will know that it comes from God.
If you pray for a husband, anyone can look like your husband. But if you pray for a kind, caring man of God who loves children that narrows it down.
There are a lot of single men out there, but you are looking for the perfect man
The secret here is writing your list in pencil. Let God decide what is best for you and trust His perfect timing. Don’t behave like a child who throws all their toys when they don’t get what they want or everything that’s on their ‘list’.
Have your list but trust God’s perfect plan for your life to get you the right man.
Your heavenly father is here to give you what you need
5. Don’t worry or complain
Every single day we are reminded that we are single and should already be married with two kids and a dog. The pressure gets to us, and we begin to worry. The apostle Paul warns against worrying in Philippians 4:6. He says “Don’t worry about anything, but in all your prayers ask God for what you need, always asking him with a thankful heart”.
This means you have to thank God for all your single years. Your love life is non-existent, and you crave the love of a man but during this period of waiting we are called to not worry, but to pray and be happy.
Either way, you cannot change anything by worrying. Worrying is like going back and forth on a rocking chair, it does not really get you anywhere. Jesus himself asked ” Can any of you live a bit longer by worrying about it” – Matthew 6:27.
You won’t get a husband by worrying day and night.
Let go and let God.
6. Avoid being desperate and instant gratification
We, single ladies, want a husband and we want him now. Our impatience gets the better of us and we become desperate. We want people to stop pestering us about marriage. But it’s all about God’s timing.
Don’t be so desperate. Trust God’s goodness and God’s faithfulness.
7. Do not idle, continue living
The mistake most of us do is that we stop living and we wait. We tell ourselves that we will be happy and at peace when we get married. But we are called to be happy and at peace during the waiting process. Even if we never get to marriage, we should live a fulfilled life.
God wants you to live a fulfilled and happy life. He said so in John 10:10: ” The thief comes only in order to steal, kill and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life – life in all its fullness”
Learn to find your happiness in God and not in marriage and companionship.
“Seek your happiness in the Lord, and he will give you your hearts desire” – Psalms 37:4
Here are a few tips to help you be a happy and peaceful person.
8. Follow your purpose and passion.
Contrary to popular belief, your destiny in life is not marriage. Each person has been called by God to fulfil a specific purpose as an individual. Do not let your single life cloud your judgment and deter you from living in God’s perfect purpose.
Learn to grow and develop yourself.
If you have a dream of owning a house, go ahead and buy one. Don’t wait for marriage to do the things that matter to you.
Go to that holiday destination you have always wanted and be a happy individual.
9. Find more ways to serve and glorify God, be content
While waiting on God for a husband focus on building and being part of building the kingdom of God. Join the small church group that volunteers to help others. Actively take part in serving God in your local church and community. There is no greater peace and contentment than being part of the body of Christ.
Let God be the center of your life and give Him glory in everything you do.
Build a strong relationship with other single Christian girls. Stick with people who have a good influence on your life. Don’t walk on this journey alone.
“Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you with all these other things” – Matthew 6:33
10. Focus on helping others and praying for others.
God has your best interests at heart so you should have other people’s best interests at heart. Either way, we are called to be more like Christ.
As a single person, you have a lot of time on your hands and the best way to use that time is not worrying and complaining about being single but it’s by helping others.
Pray for other people. This includes other single people who are looking for husbands like you. Shift the focus from yourself to others. This is one of the main lessons we get in the book of Ruth. Ruth was concerned more about her Mother-in-law and God took care of the rest and gave her Boaz.
11. Get your motivation for marriage right
If you are single and your motivation for being married is because society dictates so, then it’s a good thing you are single. You need to have the right reasons to get married.
Marriage is about partnership and sharing life with someone else. The institution of marriage is holy and designed to give glory to God.
Use this hard season to find a good reason to get married. Do self-introspection and find out why you have a deep desire to get married.
Throughout the years of my life, I have had many friends who went from “I want to get married yesterday” to “I am happy and content without marriage”.
They found purpose and passion and are living happily as single women.
The need to be a married woman can consume our lives if we have the wrong motives. God looks at our motives and judges them. As the Psalmist says in Proverbs 16:2 – “All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the Lord”
12. Surrender everything, let go of your timetable, and trust God’s timing
Surrender every aspect of your life to God. This includes your dating life and romantic relationships. This is one thing that many neglect to let go of. We feel we can control it and do it ourselves. Tell God you need a husband and let it go.
Lay your whole life at God’s feet. Trust that God has the whole world in his hands, and he is controlling every move and everyone.
Yes, we all want to go to school, get a job, get married, and have kids. That sounds like a perfect plan but what if God comes into the plan and changes the timeline?
How do you deal with balancing God’s timing and the desires of your heart as a single girl?
13. Put God first, he is your first love
While waiting on God for a husband, it’s important to fall in love with God in his trinity. Fall in love with Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Fully focus on knowing God and following God’s commands. This is the right way to wait for God’s perfect time.
Spend most of your time gathering with God’s people and in his presence. Don’t dread weekends because everyone is out with their partners, and you are single.
Rather choose to spend this time at conferences listening to God’s word and doing the good work that God has asked you to do.
While waiting for your future marriage and your own perfect love story, enjoy living in the presence of God and loving him.
Matthew 22:37 reads “Jesus answered, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind’.
14. Surround yourself with a strong reliable support structure.
Finding the right person is hard. A godly husband or godly man is a rare jewel, and it may take a long time before you go on a date, let alone walk down the aisle. This means you need a strong support structure. You need people whom you trust and can share your true feelings with.
Lean on your church, friends, and family. Spend time with elderly people or kids. These two groups will brighten up your day and change your perspective on life.
15. Take care of yourself, look and smell good
Yes, you are looking for a husband, but do you have to go shopping in sweat pants and a hoody? Do not get me wrong I love sweat pants and hoodies and that’s all I ever wear indoors but if you want to attract a good man, take the time to make yourself presentable.
First impressions count so dress up and look your best.
Learn to love yourself and go on solo dates.
16. Be on the Market
While waiting on God for a Husband you also have to be proactive. Yes, God is in control, but he is not going to deliver your Husband to your doorstep with a red ribbon like a gift. Unfortunately meeting the right husband includes dating and meeting people. For some, it could include online dating and joining meet-up groups.
Just remember to listen to God every step of the way.
Your faith to find a husband should be accompanied by actions.
James 2:26 – “So then, as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without actions is dead”.
17. Be prepared to hear from God
Being single can be a season for some people but for some, it is a destination. Do not look at being single as an intermediate step before you become married because the truth is you might never be married. Only God knows what your future holds.
Whatever answer God gives you, prepare to receive it and ask God to help you accept it.
5 Reasons why waiting on God for a husband is hard?
1. Expectations (Family, Friends, Society even your neighbour)
Waiting is hard because there are so many opinionated people out there who are more than happy to share their thoughts on your life. This unwanted public opinion can be hurtful and distracting.
It’s bad enough that you are going through this painful journey but having to bear the weight of the world as well makes waiting much more difficult. Be deaf to all these expectations and focus on what you need to be doing while you wait.
2. Stagnation
Yes, you thought you would be happily married by now, but the reality is that you are not. You might feel stuck with nowhere to go. Your life feels like it has hit a roadblock and sometimes a dead-end but it’s not like that. Feelings are just feelings they are not reality. Choose to focus on positive thoughts.
As Paul said in Philippians 4:8, “In conclusion, my brothers and sisters, fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely and honourable”
3. Feeling alone while waiting on God for a husband
Waiting on God for a husband is hard because we are human, and we have physical and emotional needs. We need someone to talk to and share thoughts and ideas with. We want an intimate relationship, hugs, and being comforted but when we do not experience these things, we feel lonely.
This is why most of us tend to go about looking for future husbands on our own without God.
All these feelings are normal and that’s why waiting is not for the faint-hearted.
4. It’s not only about you.
Finding a husband involves your future husband too. He might be going through a rough patch in life or God might be working on a few things with him. So, your wait might not only mean there is work being done on you, but it might also mean your future husband is undergoing reconstruction as well.
You can try to fix the situation yourself but why not leave it all at God’s feet and let him handle it perfectly. Either way, he knows you best and he knows your future best.
5. Anxiety and depression.
The longer you wait you could start to feel hopeless, helpless, anxious, and depressed. The emotions and feelings are dangerous and can be disastrous which makes waiting on God for a husband a hundred times harder.
Seeing friends and colleagues getting married, having kids, and living happily could add to these feelings.
Also, remember things are not as they seem. Yes, they look happy in love and happily married, but are they?
Do not wish you had someone’s life or compare your life to other people’s life. Each to his own.
Galatians 6: 4 reads, ” You should each judge your own conduct. If it is good, then you can be proud of what you yourself have done, without having to compare it with what someone else has done. For we each have our own load to carry”.
What happens in the background while we are waiting on God for a husband?
1. Learn Patience and become stronger
Waiting teaches us to be patient. This waiting is however extremely beneficial as the bible promises us that the longer, we wait the stronger we become. With patience comes endurance followed by God’s approval.
Romans 5: 3-5 – “We also boast of our trouble, because we know that trouble produces endurance, endurance brings God’s approval, and his approval creates hope. This hope does not disappoint us, for God has poured out his love into our hearts by means of the Holy Spirit, who is God’s gift to us”.
Isaiah 40:31 – “But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak”.
2. Practice Faith
Hebrews 11:6 says “No one can please God without faith, for whoever comes to God must have faith that God exists and rewards those who seek him”. This means while waiting on God for a husband we must keep the faith.
We must believe that we will one day meet the perfect husband even if nothing in the present shows that it will happen. That’s what faith is. It’s seeing and believing in what you prayed for even though we have not received it.
Faith is knowing and believing you will be happily married one day although today you are single without any potential husband or boyfriend.
3. Fully dependent and trust in God and his divine plan
As we wait, we realize and learn that the only person we can depend on is God. We have no choice but to trust his divine plan for our lives. We learn that we should not lean on our own understanding but rather leave everything in God’s hands. Lay down our own passions and trust God.
4. Realize God is in Control
The only person in control of life is God. He controls everything including our love lives. So, while waiting on God for a husband, let go of control and let God control everything
5. Heal while waiting on God for a husband
While you wait, this is a perfect opportunity to heal from past heartbreaks and childhood traumas. Each person has a life story and a life journey, and no one has gone through life unscathed. So, we need the time to heal and go back to God to find shelter. As mentioned earlier, as you heal your future husband is also healing.
Psalms 34: 17-19: ” The Lord is near to those who are discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope. Good people suffer many troubles, but the Lord saves them from them all”.
6. All things work together for your good
Before you lose hope and think your situation is beyond saving remember Romans 8:28: – We know that is all things God works for good with those who love him, those whom he has called according to his purpose.
God has not forgotten about you. You are still his favourite child, and he will do anything for you according to his will and plan.
Still not convinced you should wait? Here are a few thoughts to consider.
Why is God making you wait for a Husband?
Waiting is painful but necessary. Sometimes God makes us wait because it’s not the right time. The bible tells us that everything will happen in its own time (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).
Does it mean everyone else around us is ready for marriage? Does everyone else not have issues they have to deal with and learn from? No. But remember God loves and cares for his children and they get special treatment, and you are one of his children (Hebrews 12:6).
If you think God has forgotten about you here is God’s answer to you ” So the Lord answers, “can a woman forget her own baby and not love the child she bore? Even if a mother should forget her child. I will never forget you. Jerusalem, I can never forget you! I have written your name on the palm of my hands”. – Isaiah 49:15-16.
Your future is in God’s hands as the Psalmist said: “You Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands”.
Because waiting on God for a husband is difficult, here are a few verses to keep you going through this difficult time.
Gods promises to remember as wait (bible verses)
1. God is Faithful
Deuteronomy 7:9 Keep in mind that the LORD your God is [the only] God. He is a faithful God, who keeps his promise and is merciful to thousands of generations of those who love him and obey his commands.
Numbers 23:19 God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfil?
2. Ask and you will receive
Matthew 7:7 – “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”
3. His thoughts are above yours
Isaiah 55:8-9 – “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
4. God promises to give us strength when we grow tired of waiting
Isaiah 40:29 – ” He strengthens those who are weak and tired”.
5. God promises to be with you through this season
Isaiah 43:2 – When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through the fire, you will not be burnt; the hard trials that come will not hurt you”.
Finally
As you wait read more books on dating, love and marriage.
I have hope and faith that when this waiting period is over and you meet the right husband, you will have a successful marriage.
Whether you are single and waiting for a perfect husband or single and not looking. Gods perfect will and big plans for your life are worth waiting for.
You are not alone, keep the faith and the hope. You are closer than yesterday to meeting a man of God.
Great things come to those who wait.
These are the things to do while waiting on God for a husband, share more tips and ideas in the comments, we love to hear from you.
