In a world where happiness is a rare commodity, trying to find it around you is an impossible task. He who finds it would have found treasure like non-other. Although we all want to smile, laugh and be happy, pure happiness and joy are difficult to come across. But do not despair we have the ultimate guide to help you create your happiness.
Just because the world has descended into utter chaos and misery does not mean you have to be miserable too. We help you find the gold nuggets that will eventually make life worthwhile.
Happiness is a feeling we all want to experience and now is the time to after it. And the best part is it all depends on you. Even better is that happiness is not a destination it’s a journey that you choose daily.
Because happiness is a feeling and a state of mind, it is bound to change. You could be happy this hour and depressed and sad the next moment. That’s why it’s important to be intentional about feeling happy.
It’s easy to be depressed because we live in times of high stress. Negative emotions are everywhere however it’s important to have an optimistic outlook on life.
It’s unlikely that happiness will come willingly to you, so be determined to be happy.
1. Define Happiness
Happiness is customized to each person. Define what it will mean to you to be happy and go after it. But what we globally agree on is happiness is a state of mind that is not impossible to achieve.
Happiness is being fulfilled and at peace. But the definition of happiness is within you. Take a hard look at yourself and define it. Whether you are living a single life or married life define what happiness means to you.
2. Focus on you
It is fascinating how we hardly think about ourselves and what makes us happy. We always think about our partners, children, siblings, parents, and friends and what makes them happy. When last did you buy a gift for yourself? When last did you ask what makes me smile? Yet you hold a list of 25 things that make your partner smile.
That’s an injustice you are doing to yourself, start focusing on yourself. Decide what brings you satisfaction and comfort. If you don’t know where to start, we have great ideas for you to try.
Find out about yourself and what makes you happy. From now on you are the centerpiece, you are on stage. You are the guest of honor we have all been waiting all night for.
“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.” — James Oppenheim
3. Acknowledge how far you have come
Most of us are guilty of postponing happiness until the day when we have finally made it to the top of Mount Everest. The problem is the top may be far into the future and when you do get into the future there could be another milestone to be achieved.
The secret to happiness is to reflect on how far you have come and celebrate that. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone so why wait to be happy.
You have not started your blog, but you have been doing research and have a few ideas. That’s worth being happy about, you have started. You might not have received that degree yet, but you are studying towards that progress that should make you happy. You didn’t lose all 50kgs worth of weight, but you have lost 5kgs, that’s progress in the right direction.
What if looking back is discouraging because it is a road littered with one failure after the other. What if your yesterdays are characterized by bitterness, pain, regrets, and tears?
Well, the good news is today you are still here and therefore you can do something about it.
Decide to celebrate today as the start of great things ahead and the new path or journey you are about to embark on. He who looks for will find. So, look for happiness and any reason to be happy and you will find it.
Happiness comes from achieving goals, feeling useful and realizing that you are ticking off a few goals from your list. It’s like scoring a goal in a soccer match, it brings happiness because you have achieved the desired goal. Or successfully baking a cake.
But be careful of waiting to be happy after achieving a goal and be happy throughout the process. This is the best way to create your own happiness.
4. Be kind to yourself and practice forgiveness
We are our own harshest judge, jury and executioner. We crucify ourselves before anyone else can do it and we decide we are failures at the first sight of failure.
Be gentle and patient with yourself.
Although it may seem that you do not have all your ducks in a row, don’t worry no one has.
Some pretend to have life all figured out but they do not. So don’t be harsh on yourself for making mistakes. Forgive yourself, dust yourself off and try again. This is one of the keys to creating your own happiness.
“Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy.” — Milton Erickson
5. Choose to spend your time wisely
Spend time on things that bring you joy and inner peace. Things that put a smile on your face. Do not invest all your 24 hours every day in misery and serving other people. Who is going to serve you and dedicate their day to making you happy?
No one
6. Little nuggets of gold throughout the day
“Happiness consists more in the small conveniences of pleasures that occur every day, than in great pieces of good fortune that happen but seldom to a man in the course of his life.” ― Benjamin Franklin
Now that you have had a moment to focus on yourself and decide what makes you happy and smile. Incorporate those things that make you happy in your day, whether big or small and at least challenge yourself to include the small things in your day.
A friend of mine enjoys exercise. Each morning she hits the gym, and, in the afternoon, she goes for a run. Although that’s a bit too much for me to bear that’s where her happiness lies, and she does it daily without fail.
What’s the most priced activity that makes you smile and brings you happiness. Is it putting on your favorite pair of stilettoes or dressing up nicely? Is it perhaps having breakfast with your partner by the balcony or making your kids lunch? Whatever it is, include it in your day. Some people like doing something new every weekend, and they get unmatched happiness from that.
We usually get consumed by the routine of life and work which drains us and brings us sadness. Doing the things that make us happy, brightens up the day and helps us create happiness.
Yes, you do all the hard work and hardly get enough sleep but are you happy. Take a good look at your life. There is a fine line between existing and living.
7. Wake up and plan to be happy
As one wise man once said, if you do not plan you plan to fail. We have to-do lists of the errands we plan to run or of the work deliverables we have but we do not plan to be happy.
Our minds are powerful and whatever we tell them to do they will do just that.
When you plan to be happy your brain prepares to be happy throughout the day. It looks for reasons to be successful and it will be successful. The mind is a powerful tool, be wise and use it to your advantage.
Planning to be happy also allows you to plan to do activities that make you happy like planning to drive past your favorite coffee shop to grab a nice warm cup of hot chocolate with your favorite doughnut. It brings you happiness why not indulge.
Practice the billionaire morning routine, it will help you get a positive attitude of happiness.
“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” — Aeschylus
8. Radiate with positive energy
We all have that one person who makes our whole day horrible. Just the presence of this person is enough to suck the life out of your breath and drain every bit of energy in you.
Well, the good news is that just as negative energy can contaminate and affect everyone around you, so will positive energy.
Be positive, wake up with a smile, ready to tackle the day. It is difficult to keep anyone with positive energy down. Have you realized that when you smile at people they tend to smile back, that’s how positive energy works? Spread the smiles and love and the happiness.
The bottom line is if you are positive, you build a positive environment around you and become a positive influence on those around you. This is the perfect environment to create and breed true happiness.
9. Comparison is the thief of happiness
I am at an age where everyone is dating, getting married and having kids. I on the other hand do not even have one guy interested in dating me. This thought makes me sad and is the happiness thief I must fight off every day.
When we compare ourselves with other people who seem to live perfect lives, we stop appreciating the little things in our lives and we are miserable. Although it looks perfect do not be deceived, you could be looking at someone’s life through rose-colored glasses. Whether other people are truly happy and living a perfect happy life or not is not your business and it has nothing to do with you.
Remember to focus on the most important person, You.
Do not have negative thoughts about yourself. Living in your happy place is good for your mental health.
10. Change begins with the person in the mirror
Because there are circumstances beyond our control that are a result of other people’s behaviors this may frustrate us. But the silver lining here is you can change yourself, your behavior, and your feelings.
Control what you can and leave what you cannot.
Evaluate yourself and self-introspect so that you can change whatever needs to be changed. Do not leave it to chance or to the universe as it might not work in your favor.
If you change for the better, you create a level of happiness for yourself and those around you.
11. You deserve happiness, create it
One thing that prevents people from creating happiness and bringing happiness in their lives is that they judge themselves. They feel that they do not deserve happiness and that it is reserved for a select few.
That is pure nonsense.
Anyone can and should be happy, even you despite your background, where you have been and where you are going.
If happiness is reading a good book, then do exactly that. If happiness is going to yoga class, then join one and connect with people who share your interests. A person who strives to live a happier life focuses on being a better person and making a significant impact in his/her life.
12. Live your present to the fullest
There is power in choosing to live your life in the present. The past is gone and cannot be changed so there is no use living there. The future is unknown and not guaranteed so you cannot live there either. The only thing you have is the Present, live in it.
Create your happiness today in the present moments before they are gone and become past regrets.
Despite how much is in your bank account decide to be a happy person. At the end of the day, it’s not about how much money you have or whether you have the latest fashion according to social media. Even though you do not yet have your dream job and your life circumstances are not ideal, you can still choose to live a happy life.
13. Learn to love yourself first
Yes, I know it’s hard, especially if you are in a relationship where you love your partner more than you love yourself or if you have kids who are your world and the best thing to ever happen to you. Loving yourself is the best way to create happiness. You become important in your own life.
Do activities that resemble self-care and self-love.
Take care of your physical health and mental health. Strife to be happy in your everyday life.
14. Learn to let go of things outside your control
Wouldn’t it be lovely to be able to control everything? Well, the bad news is we cannot.
Wait maybe it’s good news that we cannot control everything.
Human beings are by nature selfish, so if we were to control everything it will all go our way without thinking about the next person. If you wanted it to rain so that your grass can finally grow what about the couple down the street praying for sunshine because today is their wedding day, and they don’t really want to say ‘I do’ drenched in water.
You cannot control traffic so there is no use hooting and screaming at everyone on the road. In the same way, you cannot control the weather. The worst realization that most of us struggle with is that we cannot control other people. So let go of situations or circumstances you cannot control. It’s no use holding onto it.
Don’t be stressed about things that are beyond your reach.
15. Stay in the company of positivity
You are the sum of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.
If you spend time with negative people, you are bound to also be negative. If you spend time around happy, fulfilled, satisfied and energetic people you will also become like that.
Although happiness can be created from within, the external environment is also important. Choose your company wisely. It will help you greatly to reduce the amount of time you spend with that colleague or friend. You will see the change in your energy.
Keep positive, happy people around you.
16. Be Grateful for everything
It’s easy to always want a lot of things to the point where we are not grateful for the small and big things that we have.
Being grateful for what we have brings us happiness. Gratefulness is also accompanied by being content and deciding that I might not have everything I need or want but what I have is sufficient for today.
This does not mean you stop aspiring for more, but it means you are grateful for all you have today.
17. Spoil yourself often and create happiness
Buy yourself a nice gift. Take yourself out to coffee and buy yourself something you have always wanted. Although this comes naturally to some people who buy themselves gifts online all the time for some this could be harder.
You don’t have to splurge but as you continue to live your best life and work hard remember to spoil yourself. Shower yourself with gifts to thank yourself for working tirelessly.
“To be happy you must be your own sunshine.” — C. E. Jerningham
18. Be realistic and focus on your strengths
Living in a fictitious world where everything is perfect will create temporary happiness but will lead you to an unrealistic world. Nothing is perfect and it will never be.
As you strive to create your own happiness, acknowledge but do not dwell on the negative. Take note of your success and failures and focus on the successes. Whatever is bringing you success continue to focus on it.
Your strengths make you who you are, and they help you pave your way on this earth and make a change, focus on those.
19. Change is inevitable, prepare for it
One thing that creates happiness is to prepare for change. If we live in an elusive world where things will remain the same, then when change comes it throws us off our game. It takes happiness away, especially if it is change that is forced upon us and drives us in a negative direction.
Change is constant you have to anticipate it and be ready for it.
20. Don’t fight every battle
It’s okay to lose some battles, you will still win the war. To create your own happiness, you need to treat battles like a buffet, choose ones you can win and fight those and for those you cannot win let them be.
It’s not a sign of weakness, it’s wisdom.
Fighting all battles will drain you and happiness will be far from you.
While the entire world is in utter chaos you can ignore what is going on in the outside world and focus on yourself.
Golden tip to creating happiness
Make it your mission to get out of your comfort zone.
Do the things that make you feel uncomfortable and nervous. You might discover a new hobby or new things that make you happy.
But you will never know until you try.
Dip your toes into the water, scary as it is, it’s worth it.
Lastly, life is meant to be lived. Laugh and smile more. It’s the best way to create your own happiness. Dance around the room as you make a cup of tea, or as you pour yourself a glass of wine.
This is the best way to live a fulfilled life today. It’s the secret formula to developing a positive mindset and lower blood pressure while you are at it. It’s important that your emotional state is well, and you do not carry unchecked emotion.
Happiness is worth fighting for in your daily life. It doesn’t have to be complicated, for most of us it’s the simple acts that create happy feelings in our lives. At any given moment choose to live in the present moment. Set clear goals about being happy and soon you will be in a good mood all day. Your family members will want to know what the recipe is.
“If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a month, get married. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody else.” — Chinese Proverb.
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