If anyone thought the COVID-19 pandemic and Ukraine vs Russia war is the worst thing humanity has ever seen, then they are unfortunately sorely mistaken. The biggest threat and plague hitting through humanity and destroying lives and families faster than the disease is gender based violence (GBV).
The silence of this plague is what makes it extremely dangerous. It’s hidden behind closed doors. It sits inside fancy mansions and drives Lamborghinis and is dressed in expensive jewelry and branded clothes. It demands attention in boardrooms and makes decisions at executive levels.
Globally 35% of females have been exposed to gender-based violence.
This conundrum that we sit with affects the economic, health, social, psychological, mental and political aspects of the world.
The worse thing is that it behaves like cancer, it’s a silent killer. We never know it’s happening until it’s too late. Why? Because both the victim and the perpetrator work twice as hard to conceal it so that no one sees it happening.
Even if you happen to spot it early and intervene to stop it, you are likely to not succeed. But the fight against gender based violence requires all of us to come together as one. I myself am a survivor and lucky to be alive.
1. What is Gender Based Violence?
Gender based violence despite being a monster is worse than that. It’s the purposeful act of violating someone because of their gender.
Because of its discriminatory nature, gender based violence is a threat to the existence of a gender that is constantly violated. GBV shows its face in a lot of ways and lately, the stats of gender based violence are horrific.
It is highly linked to the created expectations that we have for roles in society and relationships or gender based norms. The question becomes, who creates and decides these roles and responsibilities that spark gender based violence in South Africa and the world? Who supports and condones these harmful social norms?
Maybe if we solved that as a starting point it will lead us to progress. But yes, the plague of gender based violence in South Africa and the world is much deeper and rooting it out will take a little bit more effort.
2. Causes of Gender Based Violence
Patriarchy & Superiority Complex
When one gender feels they are more powerful than the other they tend to show violence towards the inferior group. Culturally men have been raised to be dominant and aggressive. Women have been raised to be submissive and humble. When men meet women who seem to not conform to the cultural norms, they could resort to violence to enforce a superiority complex.
Although societies differ, there is an accepted behavior that men are leaders and should be in positions of power and occupy roles that elevate them and make them superior to women. Power imbalances in society can be the foundation of gender based violence.
Although gender based violence could happen to both men and women; in South Africa, women, children and the LGBTQI community are more susceptible to gender based violence than men.
Entitlement
Strong feelings of entitlement can result in feeling like you deserve certain things from a specific gender. When these things are not granted, it can result in violent behavior.
Control
Most people tend to want to be in control of situations. If they cannot get that control willingly, then they violently take it. Gender inequality is tightly coupled with gender based violence and both of these are rooted in trying to gain control.
Substance abuse
Being intoxicated can result in violence. Most people tend to be violent when under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Although this can be followed by an apology when the perpetrator is sober it is bound to repeat itself when intoxicated again
Gender Inequality
There is so much gender inequality in today’s society that we do not even talk about it anymore. Women are treated unequally because they are women. This could be in work spaces, at home, at family and or religious gatherings.
Jealousy and discrimination
Some people’s jealousy can lead them to be violent towards a specific gender. Gender based violence can be used as a tool for oppression. It makes the other person feel small. Sometimes men may be jealous of their partner’s success and opt to use violence to demotivate them and hinder their success.
Globally there has been an increase in gender based violence toward the LGBTQI community. Many people treat members of this community differently because the perpetrator believes the LGBTQI community should not exist. The perpetrator ignores that despite anyone’s gender identity, each person has rights which should not be violated.
Human Trafficking and sex trafficking
With the rise in kidnapping and human trafficking so is the growth in gender based violence. Women are lured to a lavish life that quickly turns into human trafficking. Trafficked women are coerced and denied their freedom of speech or movement. They may be introduced into substances and sexual exploitation despite their objection.
Although sex trafficking is a gross violation of women’s rights, it is also rooted in gender based violence.
Refugees
Women and children move away from home to live a better life in other countries. Despite their desperate need for survival most of them end up in refugee camps. In these camps violence against women and girls is dominant and because there could be no law to govern refugee camps many perpetrators get away with gender based violence.
Some women may be forced to accept the abuse and violation of their rights so they can survive to see another day. The human rights violation in these camps is inhumane
This is what gender based violence is and what causes it. Let’s move on to the different types of gender based violence or the forms of gbv as they are commonly known. Yes, there is more than one type. You or someone you know may be experiencing GBV but not aware of it, so let’s unpack this monster.
3. Types of gender based violence
1. Physical abuse
This is when someone physically assaults you. Either hitting or kicking you. It may start with pushing, shoving, and manhandling. These are subtle actions that might leave no physical scars. It then continues to a slap, and it builds up to hitting, kicking, and much more violence.
In the end, you experience physical harm at the mercy of the perpetrator. You are lucky if you survive to live another day.
2. Emotional and psychological harm (psychological violence)
Sometimes gender-based violence is hurtful words and statements. It is abusive statements that are hurled at you because of your gender. These statements are meant to belittle the receiver who is perceived as inferior by the perpetrator of gender-based violence. Verbal abuse is still a violation of the next person.
Be careful it can also be masked as emotional abuse which leads to psychological abuse.
3. Sexual abuse (sexual violence)
This is described as assaulting someone sexually. The victim does not give consent, but they are violated either way. This can be someone touching you or smacking you in a way that is inappropriate and makes you uncomfortable. It could also be a type of sexual contact in sensitive and private areas. This can escalate to rape and or molesting. Sexual violence could also be inappropriate comments or remarks of a sexual nature.
Although we will not supply an exhaustive list, it’s likely that if you feel sexually harassed and assaulted you are being harassed or assaulted.
4. Financial abuse
Gender based violence can also slide into finances. These can be in romantic relationships where one party assumes total financial control leaving the other barely surviving without money or fulfilling their basic needs. It could also be that someone forcefully takes money from the other by enforcing fear and threats of violence. All of this is rooted in gender.
5. Structural violence: perpetuated by institutions.
In most communities, gender based violence is showing its ugly head in corporate spaces and various spaces of work. Most companies claim to not know that it’s happening but for anyone willing to see it, it’s clearer than day.
Gender based violence results in denying individuals economic opportunities or other opportunities in the workplace just because they are of a specific gender.
It’s mostly seen where women are overlooked when it comes to promotions because they are prejudiced as incapable despite them proving beyond reasonable doubt that they are worthy.
Institutions continue to perpetuate this violence even with salaries, where the gender pay gap is most prevalent. There could also be further violence of this nature perpetuated towards the LGBTIQ community where they are denied work opportunities because of their sexual orientation.
We need to build gender equality into our society and organizations.
This violence is also seen where services are denied because someone is of a specific gender. The nature of this violence is becoming more and more prominent, and society is struggling to fight these social ills.
Social exclusion based on gender is also an act of violence and a form of gender based violence.
Now that we know the different types of gender based violence, why is it so hard to fight against it? Why does it feel like we are fighting a losing battle?
4. Why is fighting gender-based violence hard and impossible to fight
The monster is closer than we think.
Over 50% of assault cases reported in South Africa were performed by a close friend of the victim. We laugh, eat, and have fun with the perpetrator and that’s why it’s difficult to seek justice even after gender based violence has been proven beyond a reasonable doubt. It’s not a stranger that we do not know or have connections with. It’s our father, brother, uncle, boss, pastor, therapist, or doctor. Only 29% of the assaults were done by a stranger.
Gender based violence leaves all of us numb with disbelief and shock. So much so that we do not know how to behave. Honestly, how do you believe that your pastor or therapist has violated you? An uncle, brother or boss has crossed boundaries and because they are the pillar of society or the family, how can you expose that?
For most people, the perpetrator lies in bed, close to them every night. He is the father of their children and the breadwinner. The perpetrator is the perfect husband and even your parents could not speak enough praises about him. He is the perfect in-law and husband any parent would want for their child. How do you destroy that picture and reputation that everyone has?
So, you decide to keep quiet and live a private life and not expose the violence you are experiencing.
According to statistics, 15% of assaults reported in South Africa are by romantic partners or spouses. This is known as intimate partner violence. How do you tell your family that you experienced sexual assault from your husband? You feel you cannot and that’s why gender based violence is a silent killer.
Your friends notice the minor changes in your behavior and look. They ask you about it but the weight of everything is unbearable, so you lie. Your mom can see that the light in her little girl’s eyes is gone, and she knows it couldn’t be anything else. She is in the same conundrum as you as her uncle violated her when she was growing up and your father continued the gender based violence.
She didn’t do anything about the domestic violence she experienced in her marriage so how can she advise you to be different?
The gender based violence monster then continues to wave its ugly head through society and wade its way through generations.
A few weeks later we lose another one to gender based violence.
Two-faced monsters
The perpetrators do not perpetrate violence in public spaces, most do it behind closed doors and smile and laugh in public. Coincidentally, everyone loves the people who violate us. They are the star of the show everywhere, the epitome of excellence and leadership.
All children growing up look up to them as role models, so how do you shatter a child’s dream by pointing out that what they thought was an angel is a lion in a sheep’s skin.
According to gender based violence statistics in South Africa, 13% of reported assaults were from a family member or relative.
The gender based violence continues and before we know it, we bury another one.
Perpetrators have perfect reputations
We deal with people who have built such a credible reputations in society that if you dare put that into question by accusing them of gender-based violence you become a target. Society mobilizes against the victim because how dare you to accuse the pastor of such vile and sinful behavior.
How dare you imply that the head of the football team that is building the community and taking the poor kids off the streets is guilty of sexual harassment and capable of gender based violence. The people perpetrating these acts of violence are community leaders respected and loved by the community.
The perpetrator continues the toxic pattern of abusive behavior and gender based violence becomes the order of the day. We continue to lose them every day. The numbers increase and each day it’s another face on our screens with another horror story attached to it.
We always think it cannot get any worse than this, but it always does.
From victims with permanent scars and missing limbs to those with emotional scars, we cannot even begin to process even if we tried.
Every day nurses, students, mothers, children, teachers and colleagues are violated and each weekend we bury one more.
But what about those who survive and do not die? How do they survive, and what are the consequences? Can they even move on?
5. The long-lasting effects of Gender-Based violence
Although Gender based violence can take years before it is reported and handled properly. It takes even longer to deal with the consequences and side effects of this violence both on the victim and the perpetrator. Let’s dive into how survivors of gender based violence have to deal with it.
1. Psychological and Mental effects of gender based violence
Emotional abuse has long-lasting effects. These scars are deeper than the physical wounds and turn to live longer in your brain. Seeing a therapist is one of the best ways to talk through mental and psychological experiences.
Usually, the victims have a permanently altered perspective of the world. Some tend to not trust the male gender anymore and think everyone is out to get them. In extreme cases where violence has been going on for a while, many victims could suffer from mental illness in the long run.
2. Physical effects of gender based violence
Most victims can carry permanent scars from experiencing violence. For some, it goes as far as having burnt skin or broken bones and ribs or permanent disability. Although the wounds may heal, and not hurt anymore, the scars are engraved forever, like a bad tattoo you never wanted.
3. Financial effects of gender based violence
Sometimes gender based violence can lead to the loss of income if the arrested perpetrator was the breadwinner. In South Africa, the president donated millions towards building a shelter for the victims to try and bridge the loss of income and provide the victims with essential services that they need.
4. Health effects of gender based violence
Victims of gender based violence need health care, especially if they have been hurt physically. If an unprotected sexual act has been done to them, they could be susceptible to STIs and STDs which could affect their future reproductive health. These victims deserve immediate medical attention. A lot of work has gone into building shelters for victims with health services.
5. Gender Based Violence Stats in South Africa
Although we have pointed out some stats with regards to gender based violence, there are more shocking stats.
· 51.1% of the South African population is female. And this is the population that is at risk of facing gender based violence every day.
· One in 5 women who are in relationships have experienced gender based violence from their partners. So now we wonder if all these “happy couples” we see on social media are indeed happy.
· If a woman has been divorced or separated, she was likely exposed to gender based violence or abuse. Although we are happy that she “survived”, it is still a tragedy that she had to go through such a life-changing experience.
· Sexual and physical violence decreased with the wealth quintile
· 120 000 people reported gender based violence in 2020 three months into the South African lockdown during the covid pandemic. While we were locked in and happy to be spending more time with our loved ones, thousands of people feared for their lives daily and had to experience gender-based violence from their partners.
6. What is the government doing about gender based violence?
Despite all efforts, women turned to the president to ask him and the parliament to intervene. The president then passes three bills into the legislature concerning gender-based violence in 2022. The irony is that these bills have to do with supporting victims of gender based violence.
But why are we treating the symptoms, not the cause? Why are we trying to help the victim live with the trauma and not putting more effort into ensuring that the violence doesn’t happen at all in the first place? I guess how we handle it is also part of the problem.
Final thoughts
Gender based violence in South Africa is increasing at an appalling rate. The country is not safe for women and children. For any female to step out of the door you would be lucky to still come back home alive. You can be sure that you will experience violence just walking in the streets or doing shopping. You almost want to hire a security team for your kids as they go to school.
Actually, it is so bad that even schools are not safe as we hear horrific stories of gender based violence between kids and teachers.
You would assume taking an uber would be safer than any other public transport but that is the worst of them all. The endless posts that young women share on social media of their horrific uber experiences make you want to curl up in bed, lock the door and never want to go outside ever again.
But what if you are locking yourself inside the house with the perpetrator inside?
Many organizations have taken to the streets to express concern over gender based violence. Political, religious and humanitarian organizations have joined forces to fight this monster and create safe spaces for women and children. The government even aids with supplying legal services for victims in an attempt to encourage people to report violence without fear.
But all these efforts are in vain as every day we lose a sister, mother, child, colleague, aunty, grandmother, nurse, or student to gender based violence. The list continues to grow, and each case is more gruesome and unbelievable than the last one. How inhuman can the perpetrators get?
Although the fight against GBV is ongoing, it is far from over.
NGOs, religious, political and social services must come together to fight against gender based violence. And maybe the fight starts with a particular focus on teaching the boy child and men to treat women with love and respect. Or maybe its starts with teaching the girl child self-defence and re-enforcing women’s empowerment programs. A lot more planning and thinking need to go into dealing with the root cause of gender based violence as it is a humanitarian crisis. We need to build a happy and peaceful society without violence
