Dealing with someone who wants to destroy you is hard. Ever been in an abusive relationship with friends or family members and you think “I will just let God deal with this because if I deal with this person myself, I am going to jail”?
No matter how hard you try to be a nice person they always give you a hard time.
How do we deal with human beings who have toxic personalities? The confusing situation is when a close friend or your best friend becomes a toxic person. At first, you are in denial because these people are close to you.
But if there is anything I have learned about toxic individuals they will not stop unless you deal with them.
Such people will continue to make your life miserable. And honestly, life is already difficult as it is, you do not need negative people adding to your troubles.
We are all about building meaningful connections and a healthy relationship with those close to us, but it’s not always easy. It’s always best to stay away from evil people and their negative energy even if they are close to us and we love them.
As Hans F. Hasen said: “People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely.”
Knowing someone wants to destroy your reputation and life is difficult. It can make life uncomfortable.
You and I have a lot to talk about so let’s get right into it.
In the end, you will know exactly what to do on how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.
Needless to say, your life will never be the same again.
How to recognize someone who wants to destroy you
If you want to deal with someone who wants to destroy you, the first step is to recognize toxic behavior and the people who perpetrate it.
As it is said unless you know the root cause of the problem you cannot deal with it.
The tips on how to deal with someone who wants to destroy will work if you understand what you are dealing with.
They don’t have anyone’s best interests at heart.
Some people want to destroy you and will look for ways to sabotage you every step of the way. Be it at work or in your family. These people always want to make your life miserable and difficult.
Toxic traits to destroy you include speaking badly about you behind your back. These kinds of people show you little respect and if you are not careful, they will ruin your entire life.
People who want to destroy you are always negative.
Whether it’s a birthday party, celebration, or funeral, toxic people who want to destroy you always have something negative to say. To them, the sky is always falling. The worst thing is that they are stubborn and do not listen to anyone else.
They always try to outshine you
Ever met a person who always tries to outshine you? If you announce any good news you have, they then announce something that seems to be better than what you achieved. Sometimes they even use fake content and information to get attention.
They are attention lovers. This kind of behavior should be a warning sign that you are dealing with a toxic person who wants to destroy you.
The right people always celebrate your milestones and achievements without trying to outshine you.
They don’t care about you or anyone else
Some people are pure evil by nature. They enjoy giving other people a difficult time. These people are dangerous because they don’t sympathize with anyone else and would do anything to hurt others without feeling an ounce of guilt or pain.
They are judgmental and hold grudges (revenge)
Good people and successful people do not have time to look at other people’s lives and offer judgment. However, people who want to destroy you are focused on the wrongs you have done. They focus on your mistakes and make sure that you know that they are judging you.
These are people who never want to see you happy and will do anything to make you sad and make you feel bad. It does not matter how much hard work you put in to make yourself a better person they never see your improvements.
Some of these judgments stem from insecurities that they have which they are projecting onto you.
When this happens don’t focus on the bad feelings that you are feeling but rather decide to have a new look at life.
Your real friends who love you and care for you do not hold grudges. They always see the good in you and spire you to be a better person.
Some people hold grudges and will try and destroy you out of revenge, maybe you hurt them, and they are looking to hurt you back. As some belief, revenge is a dish best served cold. Other people only find peace once they have taken revenge and they will go out of their way to get it even if it means destroying you.
People who want to destroy you are never there for you
People who want to destroy you are self-centered and only think about themselves. When they are in trouble, they want you to nurse them all day every day but when you are in trouble, they never move an inch to help you.
Such toxic people should not be trusted. They are selfish and self-centered. The best thing for you to do is stay away.
Relationships are a give and take, if you find yourself in a relationship where someone is always taking from you, relook this.
People who want to destroy you do not start by pointing a gun at you, they always start with the little things. We friendly and kind people easily become a target to such people. You might think you are building personal relationships with these people only to find you are building this relationship alone.
After finding the toxic people, the next step is to find a way to deal with them. This is where we will discuss the tips on how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you.
The good news is that all is not lost.
If you are worried about losing your relationship with your friends, I will discuss possible ways to try to save the relationship.
How to deal with someone who wants to destroy you, practical steps
People who want to destroy you harbor negative emotions and you have to make the right choice and be the better person.
1. Try to make peace, be open and honest
I say try because often it’s impossible. But you have to try. You have to be the bigger person when dealing with toxic people. Some people may suffer from a borderline personality disorder and trying to reason with them is like talking to a wall.
The best way to try and make peace is to sit down and talk to them. You can try this over coffee with just you and the next person especially if you consider this person a good friend of yours.
If you feel you need support, then go see this person with someone else for support. But do this carefully so they don’t feel attacked and cornered, remember if people are cornered, they become violent and aggressive.
No good outcome will come from such a situation.
Always keep in mind that trying to make peace in such difficult situations is not easy. It requires patience, kindness, and gentleness. It’s a sensitive situation.
Toxic relationships are not repaired overnight. You will need to put in the extra effort.
While making peace, be honest about your feelings and emotions. No relationship built on lies was ever successful.
“When you notice someone does something toxic the first time, don’t wait for the second time before you address it.” – Shahida Arabi
2. Walk Away
“If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one-sided, dead-end low vibrational relationship or friendship — you won.” – Lalah Delia
If you have done your best to reach out to the toxic person and there is still no success, be prepared to work away. Even if this is the only friend you have ever had since childhood, prepare to let it go. What is more important, your peace of mind or someone who wants to destroy you?
If you are worried about how they will take it, be gentle about it. Explain why you cannot continue with such a relationship.
I know this is hard especially if it’s a team member at work, a long-term boyfriend or girlfriend, or a family member.
However, for your mental health, please walk away.
This will definitely hurt as much if not more like a romantic breakup. The best way to heal a wound faster is to rip the Band-Aid off. The bad news is that those around you will judge you and think you are in the wrong but remember the kind of person you are dealing with.
They are toxic.
“The less you respond to negative people, the more powerful your life will become.” – Robert E. Baine, Jr.
“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” – Steve Maraboli
3. Be there for them.
Usually, when people treat us badly it says a lot about that person. In my past relationship, I was mistreated, and it took me a long time to realize that their behavior towards me has nothing to do with me. It’s about them.
Most people are battling inner fights. It’s sad that we only see the symptoms of that battle. As it is said hurt people hurt others and if you do not heal, you will bleed onto innocent people.
That’s why you have to be kind to everyone including those who want to destroy you.
It might seem that people who want to destroy you have a personal agenda against you but sometimes it’s a reflection of their fears and failures. It could be that a particular person is threatened by your existence but if you were to ask them what exactly threatens them you will find it has nothing to do with you.
4. Be calm
It’s easy to think because someone is being mean and rude to you that you should retaliate but that does not solve the problem.
Do not pour petrol on the fire.
The real problem can be made ten times worse if you do not treat the situation with the utmost respect. People with bad intentions to hurt you are volatile.
It is only when you are calm that you have a small chance to diffuse the situation. The trick is if you are calm, you can gather as much information as possible about why the person wants to destroy you.
You cannot fight something you do not know.
In life, we step on each other’s toes, sometimes without even knowing. It does not only happen with friends it can also happen with family relationships. To build a positive relationship or the kind of relationship that does not destroy lives we need to be kind and calm.
“While you can’t control someone’s negative behavior, you can control how long you participate in it.” – Anonymous
5. Keep your life private
Ever heard the saying “What people do not know they cannot destroy”? Well, it’s true! Social media has made it very easy for us to share every aspect of our lives with strangers online.
When people know where you go on weekends and where you are having lunch this Friday and where you will be spending your vacation you give them access to destroy you.
Do not share your life plans with everyone, not everyone wants you to prosper. Some people ask you about your life not because they care but because they want to find your weaknesses and use them against you.
Do not share any personal information with the world. Learn to live a happy life not a fake life on social media. Do not announce plans publicly, rather focus on silent moves.
Keep your life private.
“Keeping bad company is like being in a germ-infested area. You never know what you’ll catch.” – Frank Sonnenberg
6. Set boundaries
People who want to destroy you are closer to you than you think. Therefore, once you find out who is toxic in your life you have to set boundaries around yourself.
Protect your peace and your inner room. Do not share every aspect of your life with them. This can be as practical as not inviting such people to your birthday celebrations and your kid’s parties.
Although this may be difficult to do. It is a necessary precaution to handle such problematic behaviors.
When these people realize that you have set boundaries they might resort to more aggressive, toxic behavior. They may even resort to emotional abuse but do not be moved. Stand strong.
There are people with a high-conflict personality that always looks to find conflict and fight, don’t fall for these. Set your boundaries and stick to them, if they try to cross boundaries you can give them a cold shoulder and not feel bad about it.
“Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters.” – John Mark Green
7. Don’t be a punching bag
Some people take out their frustrations on other people and blame everyone but themselves. To stop this toxic behavior that will destroy you, you must stand your ground.
Learn to say no and keep it that way.
A true friend will not try to blackmail you emotionally. A person’s intentions may not be clear, but their behavior always reveals the truth. In real life, we all must be honest with each other.
It’s the important things that matter and those are things we should strive to protect.
It is always a good idea to protect your family and loved ones from toxic people or from someone who wants to destroy you
8. Get authorities involved
Sometimes it can get to extreme situations where someone goes out of their way to destroy you. They can go as far as to make harmful threats. These are dangerous cases that will put your life in danger. These could be jealous people who pose a major threat to your life and your loved ones.
In such cases, the best thing is to report this to the authorities and let them deal with it. Get a protection order against these people.
If these are powerful people that are above the law, then you need to take extra caution and possibly extreme measures to stay safe. This might include getting private security or moving to a safer neighborhood far from the toxic people who want to destroy you.
Although this may be a stressful situation, do not lose heart, it will all be over soon.
Dealing with someone who wants to destroy you does require you to be strong.
9. Don’t be isolated
When you are aware that someone or some people want to destroy you, do not be isolated. People who want to destroy you usually want to isolate you, so they keep you far away from loved ones.
Do not let this happen. Keep those who love you close to you.
When you see early signs of someone trying to destroy you at work or in your personal life then let those around you know. If anything happens to you, your family should know where to start investigating.
Sometimes it’s our romantic partners who seem to want to destroy us and we are tempted to keep this a secret. But speak out.
Always share your problems. Others might have a solution for you.
These are the top tips on how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you
In Conclusion
People who want to destroy are not merely having a bad day or showing you one toxic trait that they have. No, these people will end your life if you give them the chance to. You might find that being around these people steals your joy and happiness.
You are probably always trying to make them happy, and you forget about yourself. The negative behavior will ultimately pollute your life.
Stay away from people who always want to make you feel bad about yourself and doubt yourself. The main thing and the most important thing in your life is you. Don’t let people like that take too much time in your life, learn to move on.
Strike a delicate balance between your peaceful life and getting rid of toxic people who want to destroy you.
It’s an unsettling thing to know that someone can have such a huge impact on your life. An evil person is not sympathetic. Some evil people even think they are the victims.
Take charge of your life. If you let toxic people into your life, they will destroy you.
“No matter how much you love the person, you cannot change them. You may influence them; but at the end of the day, they must decide for themselves.” – Robert E. Baines Jr.
If you enjoyed this post on how to deal with someone who wants to destroy you, please share your story in the comments sections about toxic people in your life.
Pingback: How to deal with disrespect in a relationship, 5 Ways - Do it with Excellence