Although the past is exactly where it should be in the past, it somehow has a way of rearing its ugly head back into our lives.
Somehow the past lives rent-free in minds.
It’s both annoying and frustrating.
The danger of letting this process continue is that you will be stuck in a replay.
To better understand what fixating on the past can do, let’s talk a little bit about eagles.
Eagles are born to soar high in the sky. It’s what they do. If an eagle were to be injured and it has to lie on the ground for quite some time, it is still an eagle. That means that besides the injury and traumatic events that the eagle has experienced it can still soar high.
The same is true for human beings.
Despite the past sad memories and strong emotions that we entertain we still possess within us the potential to soar. When you decide to dwell on the past and on anxious thoughts, we are behaving like an eagle that has the potential to soar but is deciding to stay put.
That is the danger of continuously fixating on the past.
This articles aims to remind you not to relive your past, live in the present.
Before I bore you to sleep let’s start talking about how to stop thinking about the past.
How to stop thinking about the past.
This is about helping you get over the constant state of disappointment. After this, you will get over the past struggles that keep weighing you down.
The problem when we replay the past is that we tend to add what ifs and what about. These wishes and alternative thoughts about what didn’t happen but could have happened do not help anyone.
They are a waste of time and that is why we have to talk about how to stop thinking about the past.
1. You have the power to control your thoughts
Contrary to popular belief, the truth is that you think about the things you want to think about. We subconsciously choose our thoughts and feelings.
This is a critical thing to realize when trying to stop thinking about the past. Once you realize that the power lies with you then it’s game over.
The ball is in your court, you have control to use it.
It takes intentionality to choose what you will be thinking about. The other truth is that it will not happen overnight. You will have to consistently choose to forget the past.
I say opt to have a bad memory.
If you choose to follow this first step, honestly you can stop reading here and you will see your life going back to normal before the past started haunting you.
2. Practice Mindfulness
One of the best ways to stop thinking about your past is to learn to live in the present moment.
I am saying that if you live in the moment, you do not have time to reminisce on the past. The universe does not allow for a void, it always finds a way to fill it. This is true for our thoughts too. If you find yourself thinking about nothing, likely, past mistakes and unwanted thoughts will slowly but surely find a way to get your attention.
Living in the present means that if you are watching TV, you are fully focused on that. If you are reading a book, do not let your brain wander off and start thinking about something else.
When you choose to be mindful, you purposefully fill your mind with present positive thoughts.
Here are a few mindfulness exercises to help you.
3. It gets worse before it gets better
Your mind has been programmed to replay past negative experiences and negative emotions so there is no way that you will wake up tomorrow and all of that will disappear. But what matters is that you persistently make progress and take intentional steps to not think about the past.
You could just be buying groceries then out of nowhere you remember the horrible thing your ex said to you during a fight. Or you could be attending a meeting and you start thinking about the time your mother mistreated you.
It’s random, it feels involuntary like you have no control.
A negative thought or past trauma has a way to wiggle its way into the activities we do every day. It’s almost as if they creep up on us and remind us of the pain and hurt. You feel all the negative feelings from past relationships as if it was yesterday.
Pain is like that.
So, while you are on this journey, just keep in mind that it will get worse before it gets better
4. Change your focus
Because you control your mind you have to tell it what to think about. The most effective way to do this is to find something else to focus on.
The good news is that there are a million other things that you can choose to think about, intentionally, which does not fall into the category of negative thoughts. Whenever you feel your mind about to take an unwanted trip down memory lane you have to stop that bus right there and get off.
Don’t let it take you down past experiences. Recalling past hurts is a symptom of struggling to let go of the past.
If necessary, you can choose to think about butterflies, birds, unicorns or how to celebrate your dog’s birthday.
The point is, there are many alternative thoughts you can choose to think about, you just need to be proactive with choosing the right thoughts.
If you struggle to choose positive thoughts, try listening to music that will distract you from the past. It will not help you if you choose to listen to romantic music while trying to forget your ex.
Choose your thoughts wisely
5. Your purpose is in the present and the future not in the past
Usually, when we are fixating on the past, we forget that life is moving on, with or without us. The fact that we are still alive means that we still have a purpose to fulfill.
We fixate on the past because we have lived in it. However, we struggle to think and live in the present and the future because we don’t know what will happen. We don’t know what tomorrow brings and that makes us nervous hence most of us prefer to live in the past.
But remember, the past is gone, and it cannot be changed. The only thing that can be changed is the present and the future.
Therefore, in the long run, choose to invest in your purpose today.
Find the things that bring you joy, happiness, and peace today. Learn new skills if you have to. Being a human being means that you understand that life has a purpose, and it is useless to go through life aimlessly with no focus.
When you intentionally focus on the present and prepare for the future you will have the happiest time of your life.
The key difference between focusing on the past and the present is that you can control the one but cannot control the other. When you think about the past sometimes your body does not know that you are fixating on the past. It then produces emotional reactions as if your past memories are something that is ongoing.
That’s why it’s important to think about the right things and to focus on your purpose.
6. Don’t let past successes hold you hostage
Ever sat down with your grandparents and realized that they cannot stop talking about their younger days? Or perhaps your parents keep telling you about their successes as young people in an attempt to motivate you.
Most people talk about their past success more than the present.
It’s not wrong to talk about your past good memories, however, try to not dwell on those. Most of us when we think about how to stop thinking about the past, assume that the past we are thinking about is negative.
But not all the time.
An example of dwelling on the past is constantly replaying the happy memories you shared with your ex. This thinking process keeps you wrapped in the past. You might miss prince charming while fixating on what was.
These intrusive thoughts about the past whether good or bad can be a jail cell that we lock ourselves inside of.
Keep a gratitude journal to record all your successes, but don’t let that stop you from striving for more success. Use these successes to inspire you to be a better person and to remind you of the greatness within you.
7. Remove the triggers
Human beings are visual beings. That means we tend to associate the things we see with different people, emotions, and feelings. We associate smells, events, and places with people and memories whether good or bad.
With that in mind, you have to relook at your life. What things do you see, smell, and visit that keep reminding you of things in the past?
Either avoid those things or find a way to cope with them.
This means getting off social media if it keeps triggering the past for you. If you are trying to get over an ex, then looking at past pictures of you happy will not help you. If you are trying to avoid a past failure, it won’t help constantly put yourself in those situations.
If there is a family member that keeps dragging you into a past, spend less time with that person. If it’s a friend that is a trigger then may be, consider making new friends or keeping your distance there as well.
It’s important that you deal with external factors that remind you of the past as well as internal issues.
Control what you can.
Removing triggers is a very effective step to do when dealing with how to stop thinking about the past.
8. Stop talking about it.
The past is dead except for the life you give it by thinking about it and talking about it.
Most of us say that we have moved on and that the past is gone but we speak more in the past tense than in the present tense. We love relating the hurt, the pain, and the failure to anyone and everybody who would care to listen.
I have friends and family members that I dread seeing, calling, or spending time with because they are always talking about their past failures and hurt. Whenever I spend time with these people, I end up more stressed and depressed, so I avoid them at all costs.
Please don’t be that person.
Whatever you constantly think about you will always talk about. So, I suggest you fill your mind with happy thoughts about the present and the future rather than past thoughts.
Focus on the current good times and create new memories.
Choose carefully what you want to talk about and why.
Remember that your words are seeds that you sow into the universe. And you can be hundred percent sure that the universe is listening.
It does help to talk about what we are feeling, emotional pain, and what we went through, but there is a limit. Challenge yourself to talk about a problem only a few times with those close to you and close that chapter.
Life experiences can indeed be too much to bear alone, and we need a support structure to deal with it in a safe place, but we also need to know that we don’t have to build a permanent residence in Pastville.
How to stop thinking about the past may be complicated but is it worth doing, and the good news is that you have control.
9. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us
You have heard this statement a million times and that is because it is true.
Knowing this truth helps you to be in a more peaceful state of mind. It helps you understand that the past is gone and tomorrow might not come but today, right now is here and that’s all you have.
Most of us are told we have a whole life ahead of us so we need to take all the time we need to get over the past, but the truth is there may only be a few hours left in your life, or there may be a few months left. In all honesty, you don’t have much time left to live.
What would you like to spend the rest of your life thinking about and doing?
What realistic goals can you set for yourself today that will make you happy and stop you from fixating on the past? What fond memories do you want to create today? Asking these questions is a great way to stop thinking about the past and focus on the future.
Moving on and living in the present is the best thing you can do for yourself.
10. If push comes to shove see a professional
You have probably been wondering what the best way is concerning how to stop thinking about the past and after trying everything you realize nothing works.
Well, there is one last thing you can try. Schedule an appointment to see mental health professionals. These are people who are trained to help you with processing intense emotions about your past.
Getting professional help is not a sign of weakness, it’s acknowledging that you are a human being who needs other human beings.
As the famous saying goes: no man is an island.
You could be dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder that needs professional support. Do not do this on your own. Get the medication and support you need.
Thinking about a traumatic experience constantly means that you are stuck and so is your life. That’s why it’s important to deal with it with a sense of urgency.
Although there might not be a direct link between negative memories and mental problems, your thoughts will likely affect your entire well-being.
11. Deal with your past don’t camp there
If we have a past that we have not dealt with it is likely to manifest in self-destructive behavior or self-esteem issues. Therefore, you have to face your past head-on. Address all the issues you have gone through and leave them there.
If you have to see a therapist who will help you unpack your past, do it.
If you plan on getting to the top of life you have to go through some life challenges.
To get to the top of the mountain you have to climb it, you cannot go around it. It may be tough to climb the mountain, but you will see that your attitude will change with the altitude.
If you don’t do anything about it, past pain can and will shape your life.
The best motivation to help overcome this is to remember that your life story has not ended. It is in progress. However, take comfort in knowing that your best days are still ahead and so are more challenges that you will overcome.
Benefits of focusing on the past
Nothing.
So next time you think about fixating on the difficult times you have experienced just remember that it is doing you no good.
So, stop wasting time and do things that are actually effective.
Also, remember that reliving your past may have a negative impact on your health.
Yes, the past hurt you, but it doesn’t define you. Take time to process it and move on
If you follow these steps on how to stop thinking about the past, you are well on your way to living your best life ever.
Finally, start dreaming again
The past is a portion of your future lived. Because you are alive today, you get to live the best part of your future guilt-free. It’s only when you stop thinking about the past that you begin to pursue life with passion, expectation, hope, and joy.
We all have to process past events. We make mistakes but we must still learn to live a full life beyond that. As the famous saying goes you are not your mistakes. I will extend that and say neither are you your experiences.
All these tips on how to stop thinking about the past are helpful ways to challenge your thinking process. You could be processing difficult emotions in real life today, but one thing is certain, you will get to the other side of the tunnel.
Choose to be part of the positive people and control your own actions. There is no simple way to stop thinking about the past, but these simple steps will definitely help you. This article is not to help you forget the reality of the situation you are dealing with but to help you deal with it.
Let us know in the comments section which tips you are willing to try. What other ways have you tried that have worked for you? Share with us in the comments section. We love hearing from you.
