How to stop texting a girl – 9 Tips

Love and relationships are extremely difficult to navigate because they are not straightforward. In fact, they are as tricky as an ape.

Very few people claim to have mastered human relationships. However, I think we need to be skeptical of those who say they know the secret to navigating relationships.

As long as you are dealing with a human being, life will continue to be tricky.

We can only share our experiences and what has worked for us in the hope that it will work for you. In most cases, not everything we discuss here on how to stop texting a girl will work for you, but I am sure that at least one or two tips will work for you.

Before we get into talking about the best way on how to stop texting a girl, let’s iron out a few things. You know I like to put all the facts on the table so that you at least think about everything before deciding.

Why are you texting her?

Before you become defensive, hear me out.

You must understand the main reason or the various reasons why you are texting her. If you understand this, it will give you a good foundation to actually stop texting her.

1. You are dying of boredom.

Some guys text girls just because it’s a Tuesday night and they are bored.

An empty mind is the devil’s playground, so if you are not busy, your mind will find things to do. One of those things could be texting a girl just to spark some great conversation. I mean you could think of it as a harmless conversation, which it probably is.

But I challenge you to stop texting girls just because you are bored and are looking to pass time. In my short life, I have learned that when you are bored and you text people it’s likely that the conversation does not lead to anything good.

If anything, you might wake up the next day and think, “What have I done?”

If you are texting a girl, try and understand the reason for that text before sending it. Try to find interesting ways to have a good time without texting a girl.

2. You just love her attention.

Not only do girls love attention, but boys love it too. Just try to give them a little bit of attention and they will cling onto it like bees clinging to honey. Trust me, they will keep coming back for more.

If you are one of these guys who love attention and you text girls to get attention, maybe you need to re-evaluate clicking that send button on the ‘Hey stranger’ message you just typed.

Attention is a greedy green-eyed monster that keeps taking. It is never satisfied and if you feed it once it will always want to be fed and before you know it you will have to text a girl consistently, so you don’t feel neglected but instead feel loved and wanted.

3. Texting out of habit

The worst thing you can do is text a girl out of habit. Sometimes we develop close relationships very quickly with those close to us and we tend to want to text them every detail of our life as it happens. Although this is usually a good sign of a great friendship or relationship, it is also a good idea to stop texting people just because it’s a habit to do so.

When you text a girl, even if it’s a close friend, it’s always a good idea to try and understand the why behind your text. Are you trying to share information, gossip, a meme, or perhaps a joke?

If you are not dating the girl, it may be wise to monitor your text conversations so that you don’t bombard the girl with many messages. You want to find a balance between phone calls and texting.

4. You are trying to build a romantic relationship

I have noticed that a lot of guys or men are not very good at laying their cards on the table. Most of them prefer playing a long-term mind game that involves a lot of text messages to a girl.

The issue with this is that, while they are busy playing the long-term game, some guy will come with clear intentions of playing a short-term game and sweep the damsel away.

Most guys will then end up heartbroken because they feel rejected and played when in actual fact the girl thought they were just such a nice guy who enjoyed texting her.

Even if you send her a good morning text every morning, she may receive it as just that, a good morning text.

So, if you are consistently texting a girl with the hope and intention of building a romantic relationship, I suggest you let her know. It’s the right thing to do for yourself and her.

Be clear from the word go.

5. You genuinely enjoy conversing with her (as a friend)

It could be that you want to text this girl because you really just enjoy your conversations with her. She makes you laugh, and you can both hold a great amazing conversation about anything. From politics and relationships to global warming, fashion, family, personal life, business, and finances.

There are girls like that who are very engaging and capable of holding a good conversation. After talking to such people, you feel happy, excited, and relieved. More like a weight off your shoulders.

It could be that after texting this person the whole day, you are motivated to work and be better.

It’s okay to text a girl for this reason but it’s also important that you let her know why you enjoy texting her so much.

In as much as boys may catch feelings, girls can do the same thing too. To you, as a guy, it could just be an innocent conversation but to her, you could be giving her a shoulder to cry on and attention that she interprets as you are initiating a romantic relationship.

Be clear about the real reason for constant texting, it’s the best thing you can do for the both of you. Especially if you value that friendship and relationship.

6. You are lonely

Although this is the last thing we talk about, it’s one of the top reasons for texting a girl.

Whether it’s after a breakup or it’s Friday night and you are too broke to go out. Loneliness could lead you to text a girl.

Please do your best not to do this.

Rather opt to spend quality time with yourself. The next time you get the urge to check up on her, get up and go grab a cup of water.

Don’t use girls to entertain yourself. Netflix, Tik Tok, and Books are meant for that.

We didn’t discuss all the reasons, but these are the most common reasons why a guy would text a girl.

Next, before we talk about the tips on how to stop texting a girl, let’s talk about some of the clear signs that a girl wants you to stop texting her.

Signs she wants you to stop texting her

The blue tick (or grey tick)

If you keep texting a girl and she leaves your message on ‘read’ then that is one of the clear signs that she is not interested in having a conversation with you. If the last text you sent her was the goodnight text and she has not responded or acknowledged receipt of your message do not send a good morning message on top of that.

It is painful and uncomfortable to not receive a message back but if you take that as a clear sign you might save yourself some trouble.

It could be that she had fallen asleep and has not woken up and you feel like she will read both messages when she wakes up and finally responds but that is an application to get hurt, especially if she is not your partner.

Sometimes a girl will go for a couple of days without responding to your messages. Unless her phone was lost or she had no access to the internet and network, I strongly suggest you stop texting her.

It’s not worth it.

Her answers are like lies, they have short legs

If you are texting a girl and she gives you short answers, it’s a clear sign that she is not interested in the conversation. If you persist in this texting conversation, the girl will likely stop responding altogether.

I say stop texting her while she is still giving you one-word answers.

At least you can leave with your dignity intact.

The only thing worse than short answers is getting no answer, that’s painful.

This tip is true for those of us who are into online dating as well. When the conversation becomes like that of a 2-year-old child with yes and no answers, look for another potential on that dating app.

This one is not for you.

She has ghosted you.

Sometimes you go on a date and according to you, everything went well. Next thing you text her and she is not responding.

Then it hits you, she has ghosted you!

No matter how painful this is, I suggest you pop that champagne and celebrate because you will not be wondering whether to text her or not. It’s a clear sign that she is done with you.

When this happens do not try to find her and dm her on all her social media handles in an attempt to get her attention.

Let it go.

Being ghosted is not the end of the world. It feels like it is but it’s not. You will definitely have a hard time getting over being ghosted but you will eventually either heal or learn to live with the pain.

She has clearly told you she is busy

Girls are taking over the world in this era. They have realized that they can do anything and everything they set their minds to. They are starting and owning businesses. Most of them are upskilling themselves and starting successful side hustles that consume their time.

In short, I am saying that girls are taking the world by storm, and they don’t have time to be replying to your text messages.

If a girl has told you she is busy, give her the room and space to be busy.

If anything, I suggest that you too need to find something to be busy with.

In real life, we need to make ends meet and we need to survive. That means texting might not be on top of her list, especially if you are not dating. Some of the worst mistakes people have made are that they feel entitled to attention and when they don’t get it they take offense.

I say, learn to not always take things personally. It’s not always about you.

Don’t be the needy guy, give the lady some room to breathe and stretch her wings so she can soar like the eagle she is.

Look at the positive side of this, at least she was honest enough to let you know that she is busy and doesn’t appreciate your constant texting. It’s not a big deal, it’s called open communications.

And honestly, the texting game can be exhausting if you are a busy woman because it takes a lot of time and too much effort.

Now that we know why you are texting the girl and we have discussed the clear signs to look out for, let’s talk about the tips and tricks of how to stop texting a girl.

How to stop texting a girl

1.     Choose peace and happiness (self-love)

This is hard but it is one of the most important things you can do for yourself in this journey on how to stop texting a girl.

Whether you intended to marry her or you just enjoyed a good conversation with her, it’s important that when you see some of the signs, we discussed above you peacefully distance yourself. 

“Learn to be done, not mad. Not bothered. Just done. Protect your peace at all costs” – Unknown.

2.     Intentionally distract yourself

It can be hard to stop texting a girl you really like, that’s why you have to be intentional about it. Find things that will distract you from thinking about texting this girl. It’s the only way for you to stop yourself from texting the girl.

Watch an interesting moving or a soccer match. Focus on the hobbies that you enjoy and start doing those. It’s when you focus on your own life that you almost forget to obsess over texting her.

3.     Let go of what could have been.

Life is too short, do not spend it fixating and obsessing over what could have been. If this is the first time where you ever have to let go of what could have been, it could be hard, but it’s not impossible.

It’s a mental exercise. Teach and train your mind to stop creating scenarios of a future with this girl that will never materialize.

It’s only when we let go of whatever hope we are holding onto that new opportunities present themselves. You cannot see the future and what it holds for you if you are still looking back and obsessing over texting this hot girl that wants nothing to do with you.

4.     Stop staring at your phone.

When you are dying to send a short text to a girl you are likely to be typing and deleting messages all day long. You overthink everything until you ultimately decide to send the text.

But this is not the end of it because now you must play the waiting game as you are not sure whether she will respond or not. You are not even sure if she read your message.

This is where this step becomes very important.

Stop staring at your phone, put it away.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Put it in your room or the kitchen and rather go outside.

I understand that this may not be ideal and realistic for everyone as we get work messages on our phones and do various things on our phones. But what I mean is, if the only reason the phone is in your hand is that you want to text her, gently put it down in a different location and sit in a different location.

If you keep staring at the phone you will ultimately burn a hole through it with your eyes!

5.     Delete her number (ultimately block her too)

When a girl has ghosted you or blocked you for different reasons you also have the option to block and delete her number.

For some, it may be impossible as you have memorized the number, but deleting it is a good first step on how to stop texting a girl.

Because you are still holding on to hope that one day the cute girl will enjoy your text messages you may not want to delete her number. But I say to you, do not hold on to misplaced hope.

6.     Change of scenery

If the urge to text her becomes unbearable, plan a nice event or trip that will help you refocus. Go out on a solo date and enjoy doing the things that make you happy.

Go to a museum, go hiking or go on a road trip. The idea here is to get out of the house.

A change in scenery is a great idea to stop you from thinking about sending flirty text messages to a girl that you have no business texting. While you are out, engage in small talk with new different people and be open to trying different things.

You might meet an amazing woman and create a good impression with her (although I should warn you that if you go out intending to meet your princess you might not meet her immediately).

Create a To-Do list and a Daily or Monthly Planner that only involves outdoor activities and follow it.

7.     Be mindful of your habits, thoughts, and feelings

When do you mostly get the urge to text this girl? Is it when you are bored or lonely or is it if you see something that reminds you of her?

Does the urge to text her happen at night before bedtime or in the morning?

When you have the right answers, you will be able to put the proper processes in place to counteract your behaviors and habits.

An example could be deciding to not take your phone to your bedroom at night because you are likely to want to text her.

You must do anything and everything possible to stop the urge to press the send button when you are not supposed to.

The best results only come with being intentional and aggressive.

The good news is that you can do it, you just need to be dedicated. Even if you don’t succeed the first time around, keep trying.

Perseverance and persistence always yield results eventually.

8.     Don’t stalk her online activity (social media)

Most of us are guilty of stalking our crushes and exes on social media. We want to know if they are successful and if they are happy. Whom are they dating now and what are they doing for the holidays?

It’s human nature.

But this never ends well for the stalker. It’s definitely self-inflicted pain because we see them laughing and enjoying their new relationship while we lick our wounds.

That’s why you need to unfollow the girl you are trying hard not to text. Block her and her friends or family on any social media platform.

It’s the right decision.

The more you stalk her the more you will want to text her, so that’s why you have to stop stalking her and viewing all her statuses.

9.     Find other people to text

Another tip to consider on how to stop texting a girl is to text other people who actually enjoy your text messages and love chatting with you.

These can be friends, family, or another potential beautiful woman who shares similar interests with you. There are a lot of people who will appreciate your witty jokes and memes, focus on those. This is definitely one quick way to avoid and stop texting a girl

Before sending the text, remember the following

If a girl wants to text you back, she will.

Ladies will invest time and energy where they want to. The old saying that if it’s important they will make the time is true. If she keeps ignoring you and her responses are short, few, and far in between it could be a sign you don’t want to miss.

There is a thin line between persistence and harassment

While you insist on texting this girl, she could see it as harassment. You don’t need me to remind you of the legal ramifications of harassment. Do you really want to have a criminal record over text messages?

Communicate effectively

With texting becoming a common form of communication we must learn how to use it effectively. We must learn how to articulate our thoughts and feelings such that the next person can understand them.

Sending “Hey, how are you?” messages are annoying, especially if the person is not your romantic partner. Rather choose to send intentional messages. The messages to greet are exhausting and I am sure that many girls will ghost such messages and ultimately block you.

If you are interested in a girl, let her know immediately when the time is right. If you just want to befriend her, let her know. If you intend on building a business relationship communicate that as well.

Anything worth building hinges on effective communication

Be respectful

All these tips on how to stop texting a girl are effective if you factor in respect. A real man will respect a lady’s decision to not text her. If you decide to not text someone you are respecting their life and their space

Final thoughts

I have shared some key points and thoughts on how to stop texting a girl, but I am sure that there are many more tips and tricks. Please share your key takeaways and other tips that you have tried in the comments below.

Let’s help each other stop texting a girl that does not want to be texted.