Time, Love, and Healing are three words that keep us going after life has dealt us a blow. The order of these words does not matter but we always hope that when one is gone the other is closely behind.
Divorce is one of the life-altering events anyone can go through.
It leaves you heartbroken and shattered. You feel like the world has just been ripped under your feet and everything you knew and believed in has crumbled around you.
On the flip side, the divorce process presents a new opportunity. It allows you to ponder on the possibility of a new marriage with a new spouse. It allows you to use your previous marriage as a learning opportunity and become a better person.
You get to dream about a second marriage without dwelling on your former spouse. You get another opportunity to correct things that did not go well in your first marriage.
So instead of throwing a pity party, you get to organize another beautiful wedding ceremony and start a new family.
But wait, is the time right?
Is it a good idea to start a new relationship and how much amount of time needs to pass before you can consider opening your heart out again?
The truth is that only you can decide whether a 30-day period is enough before you take the next step. You need to choose whether there is even a mandatory waiting period after your first marriage has ended and you have signed the divorce papers.
But this article is here to give you some things to consider.
Unfortunately, there is no short answer and only you can give yourself the thumbs up to find new love as soon as your divorce case is finished.
So, the good news is that you are not alone through this time, love, and healing journey we are here with you.
Time, Love, and Healing: The Remarriage Equation.
Here are four things to think about when we talk about time, love, and healing.
1. Locate yourself: where are you on this love roadmap?
Are you still healing, or have you healed? Are you ready to find love and open your heart again to someone else?
Have a self-introspection session and decide if you want to go down the love lane again. Remember that in as much as it is a beautiful road it is also a difficult challenging road.
Are you emotionally and mentally prepared to commit?
Define what you are looking for in love. You may be ready to be loved again but are you looking for something long-term or short-term? Answering this will help you map out your life journey.
Just keep in mind that your life will not always go according to plan but at least you have mapped your expectations. And when life does not go as planned be flexible enough to plan again.
You need to understand your current circumstances before you can decide to find love again.
Be brave as you plan, the second time will definitely be a charm.
Even if you get ready to date again at 50 years old, that is also okay. Love has no expiration date, and no one knows someone else’s journey.
2. Clear all legal issues.
If your final divorce decree has been issued make sure to touch base with your divorce attorney for you to make sure that you are allowed to embark on finding love.
Cross the t’s and dot the i’s when it comes to legal issues. Look at what it means for your custody arrangement if you decide to explore love again.
Will there be any significant change in your life and your children’s lives in terms of child support payments? Read and understand the state laws and make sure you are on the right side.
This does not only apply if you are the paying spouse, but it also applies if you are the spouse receiving the child support because you won the child custody negotiations.
3. Prioritize your happiness.
When you decide to find a new romantic partner at the end of your marriage, you need to do it at the right time for you.
Remember that you are the one who went through a difficult time, and you are the one looking for a better future, therefore you get to decide how much time passes before starting something new.
The final judgment is yours to make.
Some people spend a long time before considering opening their hearts again and for some they quickly learn from past mistakes, deal with their unresolved issues, and move on.
Some are in between the two extremes, that is also okay. Find your rhythm and be content with it.
4. Get professional help.
If you are not already talking to a professional throughout the divorce then this is your time to start. A professional is a non-biased third party to help you become self-aware. A legal separation will take its toll on you. The decree of dissolution can have devastating effects if you are going through it alone.
As a general rule, make it your priority to talk to someone when large events like this happen.
Do not only talk to a divorce lawyer about your legal rights and terms of divorce but also talk about any other concerns you may have.
As soon as the final judgment has been handed down concerning your life, your journey starts. The end of your marriage is not the end of your journey, it may be the beginning of a better journey for you.
Master time, love, and healing for your benefit. After you do this, you become a stranger to the world of pain and suffering.
5. Seek God’s guidance with fervent Prayer.
God is there to guide you in life. Talk to him in prayer every day. Seek his direction by reading and meditating on his word.
Many people think finding love again after divorce is forbidden but it’s not. Our God is a God who restores and heals. He is closer to the broken-hearted and he wants to give you the best that life has to offer.
Practice self-love and fervent prayer for healing in your life. Meditate on scriptures that strengthen you and give you motivation to live a happy life.
God hears and he is waiting on you. The journey of time, love, and healing is better with God on your side.
6. Golden tip: Have fun.
My last advice is to have fun. Life is hard but it is also beautiful and meant to be enjoyed. Live it to the best of your ability. Embrace it and get ready to smile at every turn.
Enjoy dating and meeting people. Get dressed, do fun activities, and live life to be best of your ability.
Final thoughts.
Time, love, and healing can be complicated, it’s never an easy straight line. You might think that once the divorce proceedings are done you can simply start your new life but matters of the heart may be different.
Know your heart’s desires and follow them.
Another thing to remember is that Time, love, and healing can happen in any order, be gentle with yourself if you find out that you have not healed after you thought you had healed.
For those with experience when it comes to divorce and finding love again, please share your experiences in the comments sections below.
Share the good, the bad, and the ugly so we can all learn from each other.
