How to improve your self-awareness

“Self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to it being right or wrong, good or bad” – Debbie Ford

Many live without it, but it is a necessity to live a purposeful, fulfilled, and happy life. It should be the center of every human. The mess we face with dealing with people is because we all do not know who we are. We are not aware of anything about us.

Self-aware people will definitely make the world a better place.

And as with everything else, it starts with you.

We are going to change the world, but we must start with you. When we change the person in the mirror, the person or people near that person change as well.

Before we talk about how to improve your self-awareness let’s quickly look at the top characteristics of self-aware people.

Best characteristics of self-aware people

• Self-aware people are dedicated to understanding themselves, this is the highest level of wisdom

• They are also very humble because they know their limitations, blind spots, and strengths

• Self-aware people are confident with high levels of self-esteem. They trust themselves and their abilities and are honest about which areas of their lives require development and improvement.

Now that we know what the benefits are, let’s define self-awareness.

What is self-awareness

The definition is clear as day, but the details are not so much. So, let’s get down to the actual details that will help you make a significant change in your life.

Self-awareness is being aware of your thoughts

What are the predominant thoughts in your mind this week or just today? Are they predominantly positive or negative? What has triggered those thoughts? Is it a temporary or a permanent situation? Is there an event in your life that has recently channeled your way of thinking and why is that?

How much time do you spend thinking about certain things and why? Are they important to you or perhaps you are going through new experiences that have dominated your thoughts?

How much control do you think you have over your thoughts?

Remember that as a man thinketh, so is he. So, your thoughts are the main and most important things that you need to be aware of.

Self-awareness is being aware of your emotions

Be aware of how you are feeling. Be honest about how you are feeling. You don’t have to talk to anyone about these emotions but yourself

Emotional intelligence is key to being self-aware

Remember that emotional intelligence means you are aware of your emotions, and you also control them. This includes positive and negative emotions.

It means that you do not let your emotions rule and drive your life, but rather that you govern and rule the emotions. If we could build a nation of self-aware people who have power over their emotions half of the emotional outbursts will be gone.

If you are aware of how you feel, you are also aware of why you feel that way. You are also aware of the people and different environments and the emotions they trigger in you. It is critical to know what your emotional triggers are. After you know that you need to be in control of your emotional reactions.

Being aware of your emotions is a great way to control your life and ensure your personal development as a person. Emotional intelligence is one of the best personality traits to have.

It is both scarce and admirable.

Self-awareness is being aware of your abilities

Some of us do not know what our abilities are. When growing up we might have had a family member tell us what we can and cannot do. Perhaps our teachers gave us honest feedback about what we can and cannot do.

You need to know about your abilities so that you can work hard to improve and develop them. Your abilities highlight the areas that you should focus on. Areas that you should be able to excel on.

Look deep inside you. What do you do effortlessly? Be it at work, at home, or in your personal capacity. These abilities will be the source of your professional development and your personal one as well.

Ask friends and family to help you identify your abilities.

It could be that your abilities are outside your comfort zone, but do not be afraid you need to explore that. Self-aware people always go the extra mile to find out who they really are, even if the findings are outside their comfort zone.

Doing new things is scary but it could also be a relief and the key to your freedom or happiness.

Self-awareness is being aware of your mental and physical wellbeing

We are very busy trying to live life and get everything done but we neglect the most important thing which is our physical and mental well-being. Our behavior puts our physical and mental well-being at risk. We all need to learn self-awareness skills that will keep our mental health in check.

You working on your mental health is what helps you protect yourself and build better relationships. People with high self-awareness develop habits to stay healthy physically and mentally. Have an open mind and be prepared to do anything to keep your body on top of the game.

Remember you only have one body and if it gives up on you it’s game over.

While building self-awareness, start with a routine to exercise. I am not suggesting intense exercise, just a walk around the block. Being self-aware means that you value your body and physical health. Take basic steps like drinking more water.

Unfortunately, human nature is inclined to survive but sometimes we have habits that sabotage us, and all of this is because of the lack of self-awareness.

Practice meditation and a healthy morning routine to help take care of your mind. Also, consider journaling and mindfulness exercises daily for your personal development and health. The mindfulness journal or gratitude journal is a great tool to help you navigate the self-awareness journey.

Being self-aware means that you listen to your body, and do not overwork it. You do not wait for your body to start complaining before you implement the appropriate ways to take care of it.  Use a To-Do list to help you plan your day with mental and physical exercises.

Self-awareness means being aware of your actions and your behaviors

Most of us have erratic behaviors and we take harsh actions which we usually regret later. That’s because we are not aware of how we behave. Our behaviors hurt us, and they hurt other people and whether we consciously know that or not, it is the truth.

One of the first things to remember is that you are responsible for your actions.

Do not give other people the power to control your actions. You are responsible for your actions. That’s a powerful thing to know and to keep in mind.

Be aware of your bad behavior and your good behavior and have an honest conversation with yourself about how to change what needs to be changed. One of the best benefits of self-awareness is that you get to change the things you have that you don’t like. You get to be in control of your life

You get to decide what happens to you and your life instead of life happening to you.

How to improve self-awareness

1.     State your values and live by them

Values govern our existence. They help us decide what we can and cannot do. They guide what we can tolerate and how we live and interact with other human beings. Most people do not have clearly defined values.

Without a clear set of values, you are not aware of yourself and the things happening around you and to you.

A self-aware person knows the core values that they live by. These values help you make better decisions in life. Writing down your values is the first level of self-awareness. You don’t have to have a long list; I suggest starting with writing down three values.

If you already have a list, you can keep it, you are on the right path.

Do you live by your values?

It’s one thing to have a list of values. But greater self-awareness is actually living by those values daily. Self-awareness means you intentionally live by certain values even when the odds are against you. Sometimes in the present moment, our values become blurred, and we even sometimes cross the lies that we have drawn.

If you realize you have a list of values that you do not live by, maybe it’s time for self-talk. Talk to yourself about your own emotions and be willing to evaluate why you struggle to live by these personal values.

Evaluate why living according to your values is hard at work, at home, or in your personal life when no one is watching. Embarking on this self-awareness journey means looking straight into the mirror and acknowledging the hard truths and doing something about it.

The truth is that a list of values is no good if you do not action it.

Self-awareness involves holding yourself accountable in an effective way. It involves having an honest and open conversation with yourself.

This is the first step on how to improve your self-awareness.

2.     Understand your conscious and unconscious thoughts and behaviors

To be self-aware you need to separate what is conscious and unconscious. If you are consciously scared and afraid, what are you afraid of and why. If you think everyone is out to get you and cause you pain, then why do you think that?

What are your biggest fears and worries and why?

What lies deep within you that you have not told anyone?

Self-awareness requires a deep search within you and the willingness to find the answers that might not always make you happy.

Instead of looking at the surface message and emotions look at the deeper message. Once you uncover the deeper message and understand it, then only will you be fully self-aware. You will begin to make decisions that make you and those around you better people.

3.     Self-aware people are aware of other people

Self-aware people know that they live with people and that they need people. Unfortunately, no matter how much we might not like people they will always be a part of us. If you are on this journey of self-awareness you need to take note of people’s feelings, emotions, and thoughts.

Even if those thoughts, feelings, and emotions are different from our own we still need to be aware of them and very respectful of them. Internal self-awareness means that you do not only co-exist with other people, but you live peacefully and lovingly with those around you even if you feel like it will kill you.

This is one of the most difficult steps on how to improve your self-awareness

4.     Self-aware people are multi-faceted.

Most of us already play multiple roles in our lives but are we aware of the roles we play?

You could be a mother, father, sister, nurse, engineer, artist, content creator, pastor, and many other roles that you play. All self-aware individuals effortlessly play these roles, but they do not burn out.

Multi-faceted people understand that they have to make important decisions across multiple fields, and they make them.

You are a person with multiple talents, gifts, and dreams. And the good news is that if you are aware of this you can excellently achieve all of this.

5.     Self-aware people are accountable

Being accountable means, you take responsibility for your actions, thoughts, feelings, and emotions. At any given moment you need to be accountable.

Be able to answer not only to other people but also to yourself.

If you have made a mistake, be willing to admit it and apologize to those you have wronged. Even if you have wronged yourself or crossed boundaries you didn’t intend on crossing, you have to be accountable to your inner self.

Being accountable means that you are responsible for playing a very important role in your own life and that is to answer to yourself. If things go the wrong way, you are self-aware enough to acknowledge that things went off the trail and you need a plan to set things right.

Self-aware people do not play the blame game, instead, they strive for peace even if things go wrong.

If you struggle with accountability you need to seek professional help.

The importance of self-awareness is to be a better person. So, practice being self-aware even if it hurts. Accountable people practice having a positive response to life’s turmoils and storms.

This step is hard but is important in the development of self-awareness.

As a bonus point, building stronger relationships depends on being accountable. People will be more drawn to you if they feel that you are a responsible person who addresses and understands their own emotions, feelings, and thoughts.

Accountability is one of the most important components of personal growth.

6.     Self-aware people take feedback well

Being self-aware means that you know that you live on Earth, and you live with people. People always talk and they always have something to say.

To be self-aware you need to learn to take constructive feedback well. Especially if you lead others. You need to hear what they have to say about you. What they say might not be the gospel truth about you, but the trick is not to be defensive.

As a self-aware leader, you need to use the feedback that you get to improve yourself. A self-aware leader knows that leadership is not about leading but about serving those around you.

Instead of thinking you are righteous and perfect accept what other people tell you about yourself, how you handle things and how you behave and turn that into a golden ticket to make you better.

Taking feedback well is an important part of self-awareness. Once you master this step you are halfway through your journey of self-awareness.

7.     Self-aware people are honest with others and themselves

Honesty is always key everywhere, especially in relationships.

Be open and honest with yourself and with those around you. Be honest in your place of employment, at home, and just as a general principle of life.

Honesty does not take anything from you instead you get to have a rare quality that many will cherish and adore in you.

Unfortunately, honesty is not a trait you are born with, it is a decision you have to make.

Human behavior lately is not that of an honest culture, but you can be the honest one.

Honesty is one of the important core values that make you a better person and it improves all relationships around you. The journey of self-awareness is a long journey, and it will continue to be, but you can do it.

When people know you are honest, they get to trust you with valuable information and confide in you. This step is critical on how to improve your self-awareness.

Benefits of self-awareness

• You become a better leader

• You become a great team member

• Self-aware people are better communicators, and they communicate effectively

• Self-aware people have better and improved leadership skills

• They are more creative and happier

• They can let go of emotional baggage

• They have increased confidence

• Self-aware people are focused, and they achieve personal goals

Final thoughts

These are the best ways on how to improve your self-awareness. Work on this and your external self-awareness, private self-awareness, internal self-awareness, and public self-awareness will improve significantly. All these types of self-awareness are for your benefit, and they can be unlocked with all the steps we discussed above.

You will find that your decision-making skills are already better. If you are a manager, your management skills will also be significantly better.

The change you will see in your life is also guaranteed because you are working very hard to improve your levels of self-awareness. If you master this, you will see the positive impact you will also have on those around you.

Share with us how your journey to self-discovery and self-awareness has been. We are a community that loves hearing from you.