Let’s talk about the best way to stop obsessing over someone. Many people do not realize that they show obsessive behavior towards someone. This is because exuding obsessive love disorder is not something that many are consciously aware of.
Hence we must take the time to talk about what a healthy relationship looks like and what healthy love feels like internally.
Clarifying these misconceptions is a good thing because you cannot address a problem if you are unaware of it.
Why do I get obsessed so easily?
- You love deeply and unconditionally
- You lack self-discipline and self-awareness
- Perhaps you are controlling especially towards those around you
- You lack a clear vision of your future (independently)
- You have massive insecurities
- Childhood traumas that you have not dealt with
- You desire approval and confirmation from those around you
- You have not healed from past relationships of past traumas
How to stop obsessing over someone?
How do I stop obsessing over my crush?
Obsessing over someone can be incredibly draining and detrimental to your well-being. Here are 9 tips to help you stop:
1. Recognize the Issue
Acknowledge that your obsession is unhealthy. Understanding that you need to make a change is the first step towards recovery. Take a minute to acknowledge and unpack your intrusive thoughts, this is the first step, and it triggers personal growth in you.
The easiest way to do this is to be aware of every time you think about this specific individual. In your daily life, take note of everything that triggers you to think about this person. Whether you are thinking bad or good things, acknowledge your thoughts.
At this stage, you are not diagnosing yourself with borderline personality disorder, but you are bringing self-awareness into the issue. I am tempted to say that the only way to deal with any challenge in life is to be aware of it.
A bonus tip here is to read up on attachment styles so that you are aware of the different styles and can categorize yourself. This is also part of the self-awareness journey.
This is the first step if you want to stop obsessing over someone.
To make it more practical, use this present moment to reflect.
2. Decentre the object of your obsessions.
I understand that it is not easy to decentre someone you love. But recognize and accept situations where you experience unrequited love.
There is nothing wrong with unrequited love.
It’s normal and no one should be punished for it. Instead, take the time to find other things to love in your daily life. Stop focusing on this one person and focus on yourself for once. You are important and you deserve both love and happiness.
If you are a family-oriented person then focus on loving the family members who love you.
If you have a good friend that would take a bullet for you then focus on that. Unless this friend or family member is the object of your obsession.
It does not have to be people; you can focus on your career or a project that makes you happy like building a home or serving at a non-profit organization.
The point is to find a good way to obsess over other important things.
3. Limit Contact
The next step on how to stop obsessing over someone is to minimize or cut contact with the object of your obsession. This includes unfollowing them on social media, avoiding places you know they frequent, and not engaging in conversations about them with mutual friends.
While this may be too hard because social media makes obsessing over someone easy, it is one of the most effective steps. Dealing with obsessive love disorder requires you to exercise extreme discipline.
The more you have contact with the person you are obsessing over the less chance of success you will have towards overcoming this. Remember that obsessive thinking can be a mental health condition, but if you keep feeding it, it will continue to grow.
There are billions of people in the world, you do not have to focus on one person even if you strongly believe that this person is your whole world.
In your daily life, challenge yourself to refocus and not contact this person at all.
If other family members have contact with this person then stay away so that you do not suffer from secondary contact with this person.
Distancing yourself does two things for you. One it creates a safe space for you to gain control over your mind. The second thing is the saying that says out of sight, out of mind.
Give it a try, it will surprise you. But I must warn you this will not happen overnight, it will take time.
4. Distract Yourself
Engage in activities that you enjoy or that require your full attention. Hobbies, exercise, reading, or learning something new can keep your mind occupied and away from obsessive thoughts.
Take time to research any new hobbies that could spark your interest. If anything, challenge yourself to learn a new skill or a new hobby and invest in it. This will help you to overcome obsessive thinking.
If you are a reader then take the time to find a good book and escape reality through reading.
I know that if you are trying to stop obsessing over someone who was part of your daily routine, it can be extra challenging. This is because this person was constantly in your personal space but now you need to stop thinking about them.
But distracting yourself allows you to have a different perspective.
Some say when it comes to romantic relationships the best way to stop obsessing over an ex-partner is to get into a new relationship. While this is effective, ensure that the current relationship is genuine, and it is not a rebound relationship.
This is because relationships require emotional needs to be fulfilled. You cannot do that if you are still obsessing.
5. Seek Professional Help
Surround yourself with a healthy support system. Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings. Sometimes, a different perspective from an outsider can help you see things more clearly and provide the support you need to move on.
The best thing about seeking professional help and support is that this person will help you look at a long term strategy to help stop obsessing over someone.
This will also help you to realize that you are not a bad person because you are struggling with obsession. A therapist is also going to help you process past trauma that may be the cause of the problems you are facing.
Remember that you are not the only person struggling with this, so joining a support group allows you to interact with people who understand you and are going through the same thing as you.
If anything, you will begin to realize that obsession is a common thing. Although there may be extreme cases of this behavior, do not be negative towards yourself or give yourself a hard time.
You are only human.
Allow me to remind you that obsessive-compulsive disorder is not impossible to deal with, you just need the right people. If you continue to hang around the wrong people or watch influential content on social media you may struggle to defeat this.
6. Focus on Self-Improvement
Invest time in improving yourself. This could be through education, fitness, new skills, or pursuing personal goals. Building your self-esteem and confidence can make you less dependent on validation from others.
Focus on that. When you are obsessing over other people you neglect yourself and you tend to think someone is worthy and you are not worthy.
But if you get one thing from this article, it is just to remind you that you are loved, and you are special. You are a real person with strong feelings.
Design a vision board for yourself and you will see a positive change in your life. Write down the important things and focus on them.
Improvement starts with focusing on oneself. When you design how you want your future and your daily life to look without the person you are obsessing over then you will see how the obsessive thought patterns start to melt away.
So, the next time you start to think about that particular person, you are reminded that there is more to life than that person.
7. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness and meditation can help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings without being overwhelmed by them. Techniques like deep breathing, yoga, or guided meditation can help you stay present and reduce obsessive thinking.
Learning to do mindfulness meditation is a good thing because you learn to breathe, and listen to your thoughts.
This may not be everyone’s cup of tea but trust me, when we talk about the decision to stop obsessing over someone you need to be prepared to try things outside your comfort zone.
If you find a nice group to do yoga with or to meditate with, it is a good thing because you get to be around other people. Human interaction is a good thing, and it also helps with distracting you.
By the way, mediation is the easiest way to quiet a busy mind.
So, go on and give it a try.
8. Write your thoughts down.
Learn to journal your thoughts. What are you thinking about and why are you thinking like that? Journaling allows you to put down your thoughts and also realize that you have an obsessive relationship.
It also gives you inner peace because journaling gives you the platform to do the inner work and to work on your emotional well-being. You will learn how to set clear boundaries for yourself and break the cycle of obsession.
A thought written down has a powerful impact on getting a grip on obsessive thoughts. Within a small space of time, you will let go of the unhealthy obsession and start building healthier relationships with everyone around you.
9. Get Sweating
Yes, sweat it out. Do high-intensity exercises like hiking, running on a treadmill, or running outside. Ensure that you push yourself harder. These intense activities will allow you to stop overthinking and it ensures that by the time you sleep, your body is exhausted.
So now you do not have the time or the energy to stalk and obsess over someone.
Yes, this is the last thing, but it is one of the best things to do if you want to learn how to stop obsessing over someone.
Kind Regards
By implementing these best ways to stop obsessing over someone, you can gradually regain control over your thoughts and emotions, leading to a healthier, more balanced state of mind.
