Being single whether by choice or by circumstances can be hard. To be honest many, myself included have found being single to be fun and exciting.
But in the same breath being single has brought with it some disadvantages that we struggle to cope with. I will be the first to admit that it is not all rosy. It is difficult because you have to dig very deep within yourself to overcome any negative feelings you have during this period.
In this short piece, we will talk about the feeling of loneliness but be warned that there are a lot more issues that come with being single.
However, just remember that it’s not all doom and gloom but we do have to have honest conversations about what it means to be single.
Just before we start keep this at the back of your mind: Married people can feel loneliness too. So do not think that a romantic relationship or even marriage will solve your loneliness issue.
Before we talk about how to overcome the loneliness of being single let’s discuss whether it’s normal to be single
Is feeling lonely when single normal?
The honest answer is yes, it is normal. Despite social media portraying singleness as a state of being to be desired, many single people will admit that being single comes with being lonely sometimes if not often.
Understanding that feeling lonely is normal is the first step to dealing with loneliness. Denial does not help so do not fall into that trap.
Just remember that you do not have to feel lonely, sad, and depressed because you are single. You can create your own happiness while single.
Why does it hurt so much to be single?
Human beings are meant to be interdependent. We are supposed to live with other people and interact with them.
That is why social activities are important. Whether it’s a social interaction with family members or friends, all human beings need to interact with other people to survive.
That is why it hurts so much to be single. You are not designed to be single and live in social isolation. A romantic partner gives you the human interaction that your body, mind, and spirit need.
Having people that you can rely on is a great way to take care of the emotional needs that will always be there. Unfortunately, there is no way that you can live healthily with unmet emotional needs.
But I am here to make sure that the hurt and pain do not consume you and your life. Although you will be going through a hard time being single is important and you can still live life to the fullest while single.
Your relationship status does not determine your success and peace of mind and don’t let it take control of you and your life. You can still be really happy every day even though you are not in any romantic relationship.
Sometimes being single hurts because you entertain negative thoughts. So, we need to talk about how to replace those negative thoughts with positive ones.
How do I cope with being single for life?
The first and most important thing is to realize that you have one life, and it is not the same as anyone else’s. Also, realize that life does not always go the way we want.
Sometimes it goes better than expected but sometimes it goes in the opposite direction.
I have heard many people say that young people still have the rest of their lives to find a partner. But what if you are older and you foresee yourself dying single what advice can we give?
Perhaps you do not think that you will ever become one of those married people that you see on social media for one reason or the other.
The realization whether true or not can be both depressing and devastating. Single people live hopeful that one day they will meet new people and one of those people will become a partner. But if that hope is not there you will have a gloomy outlook on life.
The way to deal with this is simple:
Have hope that you will meet someone: if you wish to still be in a romantic relationship, then have hope and continue to believe that it will happen. Without hope life is nothing.
As single people, having hope is also great for our mental health. It keeps us alive and it gives us a reason to live.
Accept your situation: This is the best way to cope with this life’s curveball. Acceptance is key because it releases your heart from the pain of singleness.
Once you accept you do not live life with a hole that can only be filled by another person but you live knowing you are complete. You become grateful for just being alive and you refocus easily.
I would go as far as to say, whether you still want to get into a relationship or are not looking for one, accepting that you are single is the first step to dealing with loneliness.
Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about how to overcome the loneliness of being single.
How to overcome the loneliness of being single
1. Get out of the house.
Yes, we usually feel lonely when we are cooped up in our little world and not outside. That’s why getting out of the house or apartment is a great way to overcome loneliness.
Even if it’s not going anywhere specific just go outside for a walk. Breathe in some fresh air. Go grab a cup of coffee or go for a run around the block.
This helps you realize that there are people outside those four walls. You will realize that although you are focused on your own life there are other people living in the world today as well.
Just standing in a queue with strangers at a shop or participating in social activities like the market fun fair or concert, gets you to be around other people instead of being alone.
So, stop scrolling through social media or playing video games for the whole weekend and go outside. Being indoors and living a single life means you always have alone time.
However, this alone time needs to be regulated so that it does not turn into sadness and loneliness.
This step on how to overcome the loneliness of being single is important, but it can be difficult for introverts. If you are an introvert, I suggest you try our guide to solo dates, it will help you get fun ideas.
2. Challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone.
Sometimes we get comfortable being single and tend to get into a boring routine. I challenge you to try something new. Whether it’s a new hobby or it’s just something that makes you feel weird and uncomfortable, just do it.
Getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to find new things that you are good at or that you enjoy.
I challenge you to either try these new things alone or as part of social groups. It is always good to try new things with others, so you don’t feel too weird. Instead of having alone time rather try using that time to build social connections outside of your comfort zone.
You would be surprised by how strangers can offer a lot of emotional support if you go out and explore things you thought you would NEVER do.
Remember it’s up to you to live your own life the best way you know how. A human connection can be difficult to build while you are indoors within your comfort zone, you need to take a step of faith into the unknown.
Whether it’s doing charity for a good cause or it’s a physical activity that is great for your physical health, I urge you to try it.
You will be surprised by the good thing that will come from stepping out.
You will overcome your loneliness and even find like-minded people to bond with and build relationships with. Be open to finding new friends.
Getting out of your comfort zone is one of the easiest ways to challenge yourself to be better. It’s one of the positive changes that you have to make immediately to overcome the feeling of loneliness and the depression that comes with it sometimes.
Make it a habit to get out of your comfort zone. Do this regularly until it becomes a part of you.
3. Travel
It can be scary going on a solo trip, but it teaches you some valuable lessons about life, other people, and most importantly about yourself.
There is a big difference between local and international or global travel that’s why I urge you to start local and when you become comfortable try solo trips around the globe.
Travel opens your eyes to other cultures; traditions and it affects your view of life and the world. Once you start traveling you will realize that you do not focus on your world and the loneliness that comes with it but rather you focus on experiences.
You realize that there is more to life than romantic partners and marriage. You will realize that what you thought was important to you is not so important.
This step on how to overcome the loneliness of being single is probably the most challenging and could be the most difficult.
4. Dedicate your life to a worthy cause.
Sometimes you feel lonely because you have made yourself the center of your own life. You feel that everything revolves around you and that you should get a partner to share life with.
But I want to present an alternative.
What if you recenter and refocus? Challenge yourself to dedicate your life to a greater cause than your life as it is. Look for a deeper meaning in your life and pursue it.
Some of the things you can focus on are local problems or even global issues. The point is to find something that matters to you more than your own life and singleness.
As a human being, you have a purpose, and I am sure that your purpose is not to get married. If you are in an emotional state, you may think your life is empty because you are not married, but I can assure you that your life can be fulfilled in your single state.
Help the less privileged, orphans, or even the environment. The bottom line is that you need to dedicate yourself to something that will benefit other people, not yourself.
Look around you, whom can you help and how?
Join non-governmental organizations that help the community. Dedicate yourself to helping those with terminal diseases or just helping young people choose a career path.
If you are religious, then focus on telling people about your faith and practicing the good you believe in through outreaches. There are many disasters in the world and help is needed to help people rebuild their lives, go there, and lend a helping hand.
Whether it’s visiting areas with tornadoes, earthquakes, or floods, whatever it is find practical ways to help.
If you are a single woman, focus on helping young women empower themselves and know themselves. Start projects to help trauma victims who have suffered from gender-based violence.
With the online world becoming more and more popular these days it’s easier to find many areas to lend a helping hand and dedicate your life. You can choose to help alone or with close friends.
A lot of times we think the world revolves around us when in fact it should not. As a single person, you have a lot of freedom to travel and do what you need to do, use that opportunity.
Some of the causes of loneliness include that people struggle to find their purpose outside of marriage and romantic relationships. Single people spend so much time looking to build long-term relationships that they forget to live a purposeful life.
Once you start serving others the lonely feelings become irrelevant.
Your state of mind changes when you give other people joy and peace. You will find that your body and soul are in better shape when you begin helping others and dedicating yourself to a higher cause than yourself.
Instead of wallowing in sorrow rather have a great time helping people in real life and making a difference. After all, it all starts with you.
Try this on your journey of how to overcome the loneliness of being single and you will never look back.
5. Spend time with children (babies) and the elderly.
Your own company is great, but have you tried spending time with babies, young children, and the elderly? There is no best time spent than that spent with these groups of people.
The innocence of kids almost washes off on you. The belief that kids have that life is a fairytale makes you have hope again. Play around the yard with young cards and entertain them.
Although this can be tiring it is worth it.
Although babies do not understand the small talk you may have with them fully, they remind you that life is beautiful and there is more to it. You get to believe in magic and unicorns again and the goodness of people.
Babies have no care in the world what is happening. They just eat, sleep, and play. And being in their presence reminds you that maybe the things that you think matter do not really matter.
Having a partner is important but it is not all there is to life.
Spending time with babies and children helps you see and experience life differently.
Spending time with older people is just priceless. Old people are full of knowledge, wisdom, and experience. Listen to old people’s stories there is always a lesson to be learned. And if you enquire enough, they will give you the best advice ever.
You can actually become very good friends with the elderly and with children.
I urge you to take time to spend time with your kids, nephews, nieces, or even the neighbors’ kids. Visit a children’s home occasionally and you will never regret it.
These two groups of people will teach you great things about life and they will reduce your loneliness.
6. Learn a new Skill.
This one is common, but the thinking here is that you use the spare time you have to develop yourself. Focus on learning things that make you a better person.
Learning has become easier and better, especially with the internet. Your focus on a daily basis is how can I be a better human being?
How can I work hard to develop and find my true self in this single state? As you learn new things and discover your likes and dislikes you will realize that you will spend less time feeling single and more time becoming a better version of yourself.
The right time to learn something new is when you are single and feeling lonely. You have time and capacity. Although I support getting out and trying to engage in many social situations, I also support personal development and self-awareness.
Instead of fully diving into group activities focus on building skills that could be worthwhile to your career path and life overall.
Single women can try knitting, clay making, or even horse riding. The way the world is revolving today I suggest you even go a step further and learn coding, marketing, and maybe copywriting.
Whatever it is that you want to learn it is your personal choice. The last thing I would want for you is to learn a new skill that bores you to death.
Try something fun for yourself.
I urge you to spend time with yourself. Love and pray for yourself using this guide. You are your number-one cheerleader after all.
This step benefits you and is important on how to overcome the loneliness of being single.
Affirmation for single people
I am worthy of unconditional love, support, empathy, and peace. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Today is another day for me to be better and to enjoy life. Despite the challenges, I may face, I am a smart and successful person. I am complete and living within my purpose.
Final words
These are the best tips that you should use on how to overcome the loneliness of being single. Being single means, you are not in a relationship, but you do not have to be lonely as well.
Find joy, peace, and meaning in your life as a single person and you will have struck a pot of gold that no one can ever take away from you.
Aim for positive outcomes during this journey of being single. You are not defective or unappealing its only a season and you will get through it, here are some quotes to help you during this season.
Cheers to this season of loneliness may love hope and joy chase you until it catches you. If you have more tips on How to overcome the loneliness of being single, please share them in the comments section. We love hearing from you.
