Maybe ‘crazy wife’ is not the best way to describe the situation, but it is definitely an unstable environment. So let us talk about how best to manage a partner that behaves differently from what you expect.
Although some may call her crazy, I suggest we understand the background first before we label her.
If you truly want to know how to deal with a crazy wife, first you need to understand what makes her angry. Understand what pushes her buttons and forces her to behave out of character.
Surely when you met her, she was not like that, so something changed, or something happened, and it will be important for you to understand what changed.
Why does my wife get angry so easily?
This is a million-dollar question because some suggest that even women do not know why they get angry so easily. But some things can make your wife angry.
So, before we offer solutions on how to deal with a crazy wife and with her anger let’s quickly talk about what is causing this erratic behavior.
Understanding the reason for the problem is a good thing because then you get to try the right solutions. So here are a few reasons why she gets angry quickly:
- Your wife feels unheard.
- She feels misunderstood.
- You use harsh words when communicating with her.
- She feels undervalued and overlooked in your marriage.
- She feels you are breaking the ground rules or agreements that you have made.
- Your wife feels you are not supporting her with house chores or errands.
- She is going through challenging situations outside your marriage (work stress, extended family issues, etc.)
- Body hormonal cycles or changes
- General frustration and feeling out of control.
- Lack of support towards her dreams and ambitions.
This list is only a start, you can add many more to this list
Now let’s get into the business of the day and learn how to deal with a crazy wife.
How to Deal with a Crazy Wife
1. Do not call her derogatory names.
Calling your wife crazy, mentally retarded, unreasonable, stupid, and many more derogatory names is one of the worst things that you can do.
Especially if your wife’s behavior is rooted in a mental illness or a mental health issue.
Calling her names is a way of belittling her. Although your marriage is going through a lot of challenges at the moment you should both still have mutual respect for each other.
There is no need for emotional abuse or even physical abuse during these difficult times. It only makes matters worse if they are not already worse.
Remember that she is your wife and always will be until you both decide otherwise.
2. Communicate effectively.
This is a volatile situation that requires effective communication. There is no room for miscommunication. Use clear words and explanations free of blame and shame.
Make it clear that you see that something is not right, and you want to fix it. Learn to communicate in a healthy way.
No shouting, screaming, silent treatment, or stonewalling of your partner.
All these communication mechanisms are toxic and do not help anyone. So, learn ways that build and help your relationship. If you are used to communicating disrespectfully then let this be the last time that you do it.
Your wife might not be an angry person but in the long run, the more you communicate disrespectfully and not effectively the more you may trigger a negative response from her.
If your relationship includes a lot of arguments and fighting, then here is a guide to help you through it. If your partner is more disrespectful then learn these tips to deal with it.
The main point of communicating effectively is to find the middle ground. Expressing yourself in the best way possible is the only way to find the underlying cause of your marriage problems.
The whole thing can be neutralized by simply communicating.
3. Keep calm.
When you are facing a partner that is crazy or out of their mind you need to put in the extra effort to stabilize the situation. Otherwise, the crazy behavior will turn into a vicious cycle.
When it starts to escalate then allow yourself to take a deep breath. Try not to make a big deal out of everything, that is a great way to control things and make your wife realize that you are not the enemy.
Always keep a cool head. A lot of times you may feel pushed beyond boundaries but do not give up or give in to your own anger.
Be careful not to turn into a crazy husband during this stressful time.
Also, mind your body language and your reactions. Be conscious at all times of yourself and your wife. On a daily basis, make sure that your wife feels loved, understood, heard, appreciated, and valued.
When we talk about crazy wives, we may also talk about crazy husbands so do not become a person you do not like because of a temporary situation.
When your wife starts to show the crazy type of behavior then it is up to you to take charge and lead your family and house in the right direction.
4. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness
Know yourself. Learn yourself.
Know why you behave the way you do and why you respond the way you do.
The self-awareness journey is not an easy one, but it allows you to be aware of your emotions, feelings, and thoughts.
Having this knowledge helps you interact with your wife better.
When you know yourself, you are better, and you make your wife a better person too. The self-awareness journey is not done once but it happens regularly.
In marriage, people evolve and grow so it’s important to know when all this is happening and how to deal with it.
As you grow and your partner grows you must accept each other and find ways to still build a healthy marriage. Your marriage stands a good chance of survival if you introspect and know yourself better than anyone else.
Here is a guide to help you improve your self-awareness.
A lot of things that happen in relationships can be resolved with self-awareness because it gives you control of yourself and the situation.
5. Get professional help.
This is the best thing that you can do for your wife. It is actually a good thing for both of you to get professional help. A healthy relationship is made up of two people who are working on improving themselves.
Yes, you may think your wife is unstable, but you are not perfect either.
Remember that when you point fingers it does not solve the problems. You and your wife need to look at the problem together and not attack each other.
Get a third-person perspective and have the goal to fix and work together to be better.
Spend quality time with your wife and the therapist or psychologist. Talk about everything that bothers you including mood swings, anger outbursts, and any communication issues that the two of you have.
Lay everything on the table. It’s the only way to get assistance. Even if you think this is a little thing that is not affecting your marriage but it bothers you a little bit, then feel free to openly talk about it.
Do not go with the intention to fix your wife. That mentality, thinking, and attitude never works.
Seeing a marriage counselor or a couples counselor helps you talk in an open environment with an outsider who will listen to both of you objectively.
An objective person will help you on how to deal with a crazy wife. They are trained to deal with complex human relations issues of any kind.
6. Talk to family members and friends.
This one may be challenging to do for some people because they feel embarrassed and ashamed.
Not many people want to let people know that they have marital problems. Couples want people to know that they are having good times only and not talk about the challenges they are facing.
Even if it’s small things that are wedging a drift between the two of you, talk about them to a friend or family member whom you trust.
It’s important that you also set boundaries with your friends and family members when you discuss issues with them. This is one of the most important things that you need to do before talking to someone.
Let them know that they cannot interfere in your marriage and that you just want advice that you can use or not use.
It is also best practice that both of you sit down and talk to friends and family as a team. You cannot decide to talk negatively behind your partner’s back. It does not help.
Be respectful of your wife. Describing her as an angry wife who is unreasonable might paint a horrible picture to your friends and family.
Remember that you may not always be the good guy that you think you are.
You do not have to outline all the bad things happening about your marriage to your best friends, but you need to be open enough.
7. Work together to set boundaries.
Setting boundaries is a good thing and helps to manage expectations in relationships. If you think your partner is showing crazy behavior sit down and have a conversation about it.
What do you define as crazy and where should you both draw the line? What is acceptable to both of you and what is not acceptable?
The last thing you want to do is cross boundaries that both of you have set. Set boundaries that make sense to both of you.
Have every intention to respect the boundaries.
Boundaries protect your relationship and create a starting point to have a conversation about how to improve your relationship without blaming each other.
You are stronger while working together even when we talk about how to deal with a crazy wife.
8. Isolate the problem and look at it together.
The last thing you want to do in such a situation is play the blame game.
Isolate the problem and the two of you can stand outside and look at it together. This may be the first step to solving marital problems.
This behavior that your partner has is harming the relationship and that is the only reason why both of you should look at it together. It is the first step to understanding the problem.
In the beginning, you will both have a hard time isolating the problem from the person but once you master it, all will flow smoothly. But in all honesty, the problem will not be solved overnight, you have a long way to go.
The good thing is that you get to do it together.
Isolate your current situation and work together to find solutions that will work for both of you. Neither of you needs to feel under attack or at fault.
9. Take responsibility for your contribution
No one is perfect, not even you. When bad things happen in the marriage it’s because of the two of you. It is never one-sided no matter how much you want to believe that it is one-sided.
It is easy to think someone is the problem because then you do not have to do any work, but if you understand that you played a role in your wife being crazy you allow yourself to change and be better.
On this journey of how to deal with a crazy wife, everything is a two-way street, not one-sided.
10. Pray
This is the last thing, but it is the most important thing.
The marriage institution was orchestrated by God and that covenant is run by God. That’s why when you face challenges within it, you have to go on your knees and pray.
Learn to fast and seek God during your difficult time.
Instead of going to social media to seek guidance rather open the bible and God will lead you.
Remember that before she is your wife, she is God’s favorite child so if anyone can change her it’s God.
Talk to God about your wife and all the problems you are facing. Lay it all at his feet and allow him to guide you. God is your best clinical psychologist or therapist.
He loves both you and your wife and he will move mountains to make your marriage work. Allow yourself you fully depend on him to guide you.
Pray for yourself, your wife, and your family. Pray for healing in your marriage and each other. God hears and he listens.
If you have hurt your wife and that is the reason, she is crazy then ask for forgiveness and also forgive yourself. Allow Life to move on, it’s all in the past now and no one lives there.
When wondering how to deal with a crazy wife, always know that prayer is the answer to everything.
How do you act when your wife is mad at you?
Keep calm and listen to her. Listen to understand her not respond. Make an effort to neutralize the situation and not escalate it.
Shouting, stonewalling, and ignoring her will not work unless she has asked for space.
Also, remember she is your wife, and you know her best. Give her time to cool down and allow her to clearly articulate her thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
This is not about being wrong or right, it is about the issue at hand that you both need to work together to improve.
Last and most importantly, apologize. Apologize to your wife because she feels mad, sad, or hurt by something you or others did. This will validate her feelings and emotions.
If she is in the wrong, you need to find a better time to express that not when she is angry.
When she is mad at you the best thing to do is listen and apologize.
How do you treat a dominating wife?
This one is tricky, but you need to handle it with care.
Have a sit down with her and explain your role in the relationship. You are the leader, and you are the head of the family so explain that to her, so she understands it clearly.
Some women are dominating in nature not because they are rude but because they have had to depend on themselves all their lives.
Talk to your wife, her behavior may stem from childhood issues like abandonment, abuse, or any fears she may have had to deal with.
There are a variety of reasons why she is dominating.
So instead of saying she is a crazy wife with anger issues rather talk to her and show her unconditional love. The bottom line is that such issues do not disappear overnight you have to talk about them.
Also, your wife does not know how you feel unless you talk to her about it.
Build the emotional intimacy you need with your wife to be able to talk about such things. Building emotional intimacy means you learn to trust and believe in your wife. Unfortunately, emotional intimacy is not a natural thing, it requires work.
All these tips on how to deal with a crazy wife are meant to benefit and build your marriage. They are designed to make you and your wife a better person.
How can I calm my wife’s mind?
- Listen to her.
- Reassure your love and support towards her.
- Remind her that you are both a team and whatever life throws at you, you will face it together even if it takes a lot of work to do it.
- Pray for peace in her life and her mind.
- Protect her from toxic people and toxic environments.
- Avoid calling her names like a crazy woman.
- Do not diagnose her with mental health problems, especially if you are not a qualified doctor. Let the doctor decide what her mental state is.
- Refrain from false accusations and verbal assault.
- Love her.
- Spoil her and do activities that she loves.
- Remove her from situations that are disturbing her mind (a trip out of the city is a great idea)
- Help with some chores in the house and errands so that she takes time to rest.
I am sure that one if not more of these tips will be helpful to you. I wish you all the best with your journey. Good luck.
Final words
Crazy wife or not she is still your partner whom you vowed to love and protect. So, in whatever you do, never forget your oath.
Handle the situation like the gentleman that she married. Allow her time and space to process emotions and feelings but be supportive and caring at the same time.
You are and have always been her pillar of strength. So, while thinking about how to deal with a crazy wife do not lose yourself in the process. It’s only with a cool head that you can deal with this situation, so keep yourself together.
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