At some point the fire and passion burning between the two of you was unstoppable. It consumed the both of you and you didn’t mind. Even a bystander who didn’t know you could see that the two of you were a match made in heaven.
The chemistry was real, and you were sure that the love the two of you had for each other will only continue to grow stronger and stronger. Compared to your past relationship this new relationship was like the fairytale you have always dreamed of and more.
But then….
Things changed.
Somehow the fire burned out. Slowly but surely the good time and memories you both shared now seem like a distant memory. What once was a vibrant healthy relationship has since gone cold and even you are not sure where things went wrong.
But you still love your partner, and you want things to go back to the way they were. You crave his touch, affection, and attention. You want to rekindle the true love you both once shared. Sometimes you wish to have the long chat and phone calls you both once shared but you don’t know where to start.
Well, do not worry, I have simple but effective tips for you to try. Be ready to get out of your comfort zone and be willing to go the extra mile.
Don’t despair, the fire and passion in your relationship will be burning stronger and faster than it used to. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, your relationship will be as good as new. You will be back in the honeymoon phase like you never left.
Now let’s get the relationship back on track
How to make him fall in love again after a break-up
1. Breathe, one step at a time – don’t come off too quick and too strong.
Things between you and your partner went off the rails so you need a plan to get them back on track. The first thing you need to remember is that good things take time. Time is your best friend, and you should use it wisely.
Take a moment to breathe and understand the gravity of the situation. How bad is it? Do you really want to fix things or perhaps you are just desperate to be with someone even if you don’t love them?
Perhaps the relationship has run its course and it’s time to move on.
These are critical but important questions that you have to ask yourself. It’s always a good idea to understand your motives behind trying to make him fall in love with you. If your intentions are not pure then rather not.
However, if you mean well then calmly continue to the next step. Proceed with caution.
2. Start with you
After you have decided to make him fall for you, you then have to realize that you were also part of the problem. The reason why your partner has drifted away from you is you. It might not be completely up to you but surely you can do something about it.
You have had this phrase quite often because it is the foundation of building any successful relationship. Sometimes people fall out of love because the person they originally fell in love with has changed or grown.
Therefore, you must identify the challenges you face as an individual that has harmed your relationship and work on them. It could be your attitude, character, and behavior that was either toxic or unhealthy for the relationship.
Take time to be honest with yourself. No one is perfect, not even you.
So, if after self-introspection you feel you are perfect, then talk to a close family member who knows you very well and ask them what they think you can work on. Talk to your best friends as well and ask them how you behave in a relationship. These areas are where you need to improve.
Although you don’t have to take all this as the gospel truth, it’s a great way to find things that you can work on. It’s a great start.
Sometimes it’s not drastic changes that you have to make but it can be the little things like practicing to be a better listener. Or perhaps learning how to be more open and vulnerable to those close to you.
All the things that you learn and improve on are not only about making your partner fall in love with you again, but it is also about making you a better person. Personal growth is and should be your priority throughout your life.
Read self-help books to improve yourself. Never stop learning and becoming a better version of yourself.
A good question to ask yourself is “If I were given the opportunity to date me, would I take it, why or why not”?
3. It will be a bumpy road, buckle up!
Trying to rekindle love is not for the faint-hearted.
It requires a long-term commitment.
Don’t let this step discourage you though. There is never a good time to learn how to make him fall in love again after a break-up. But if you are looking for the best way to do it, you have to get the right mindset.
Prepare to face challenges and resistance from your partner. Not because your partner does not love you but because love is like trust, once it’s broken it is difficult (not impossible) to get it back to what it was.
The fact that you have your ex back does not mean it will all be rosy, that is when the hard time starts. It might even take you a long time to get the love burning up again but it’s worth the effort.
It could be that your ex feels hurt and now that you guys are trying again, their guard is up and so are the walls to protect themselves. You must have a clear effective plan to break these barriers and experience whole fulfilling love.
Remember that the way you used to behave in the previous relationship is the reason your partner is not in love with you, so you must do something new and different. The goal is to avoid any more painful breakups in the future.
Now that we have the right mentality let’s proceed to the practical steps.
4. You know him best, use that to your advantage
This is not the first time that you are dating this person. Use that to your advantage. It could be that your partner has changed since you guys were together but there are fundamentals and pet peeves about your partner that will not change.
Focus all your energy on the things they love and enjoy doing.
And I don’t need to tell you this but avoid anything that you know will upset them.
If they enjoy breakfast in bed, then spoil them often with breakfast in bed. If they enjoy outdoor activities, do your research, and find affordable fun activities for both of you to do.
Maybe he has invested so much in his physical appearance, take the time to compliment him and make him feel sexy and hot.
Perhaps he is into technology get him a nice gadget that he has always wanted. Remember that the aim is to rekindle that love and make him fall in love with you all over again.
Use any knowledge about his hobbies, interests, and dislikes to your advantage.
As I mentioned before, remember that your partner could have changed, so do your homework and find out if the information you had before is still the same.
It’s no use planning a road trip if he hates traveling. If he has very little free time because he is busy, then find ways to spend time with him. Find a new hobby that you will both enjoy and that is not time-consuming. The last thing you need is to be a nuisance to him because you are not doing this the right way.
5. Communicate your feelings and ideas
Yes, there is no way around this, you must communicate. I usually see this as a coin, it has two sides. Some over-communicate and some do not communicate at all.
Make sure that you do not fall on either extreme but be balanced. So, let’s talk about the two categories.
Over communicator’s
These are partners who want to share every view, opinion, and thought that they have. These are people who express and voice out every emotion, feeling, and thought that they have. Although this can be a good thing, just remember that some things are better off left unsaid.
You need to learn to keep quiet when you must. Learn to read the room. Only speak when it is necessary not all the time.
Remember that words cannot be unsaid.
Once you have said something it is out there, and it will not go back. Essentially the damage is done, and it will take you longer to make him fall in love with you again. This is the second time that you are trying to make things work so you must exercise self-control.
Use love and respect as a filter to choose what to say and what not to say.
If you are wondering whether to say something or not always ask yourself if the words you are going to say are building or breaking the relationship.
Non-communicators
These are people who never voice out their feelings and emotions. If they are unhappy, sad, angry, or depressed they do not talk about it. They keep everything to themselves. This is bad because it results in the bottling up of emotions and feelings.
And you can bet that whatever is bottled will eventually explode. Unfortunately, you might not have control over when that explosion happens and who will be around you during that time.
As a wise person once said, hurt people bleed on innocent people.
So, talk to your partner about what is bothering you. What makes you lie awake at night? What do you not like, what do you like? How does your partner make you feel and why?
Balanced communicator
Learn to be an effective communicator.
The good news is that you can learn the art and skill of communication and become a better person.
Things to consider to be an effective communicator
- Learn to use fewer words (human beings have a short concentration span)
- Get to the point
- Address the issue at hand. Avoid addressing multiple issues at once, it creates confusion
- Do not bring up the past
- Listen (yes, the best thing to do as an effective communicator is to listen)
- Communicate consistently (check up on him regularly and send text messages throughout the day to remind him that you miss him)
- Choose the right environment (Choosing to sort out your issues or address your concerns at the family barbeque is not the right place and time to do it. So, pick the right time and place to talk. Set a date to talk)
6. Be open
You made the right decision by learning how to make him fall in love again after a break-up. But you need to let him know about your intentions for this new relationship that you are starting.
If you are not open it could be that your partner does not have good intentions because of the hurt.
Let him know that you are dedicated to being a better person and that the only thing that would make you make happy is for the two of you to fall in love again.
If you plan to be spending time together, let him know in advance so he can plan his life accordingly.
In short, be clear about your intentions.
7. Unpack the past – so it doesn’t taint the future
Ignorance is not bliss.
On your journey on how to make him fall in love again after a break-up, do not ignore the white elephant in the room.
Talk about the past bad experiences in your relationship so that you start the new relationship with new experiences. Talk about the emotional pain and even physical or psychological hurt that you both caused each other. Also talk about your true feelings without judging each other. Be willing and open enough to forgive each other and to let go of the past hurts and pain slowly but surely (it will not happen overnight).
Although this is not the first step in this list it should be treated as a priority. For some of you, it might even be the first step, just to get the awkwardness out of the way.
This step is tricky, and it could make or break the process but if done right then you have a good chance of making him fall in love with you all over again.
Sweeping things under the carpet and hoping they will drift away is not the best way to make the relationship work.
Talk about your past experiences especially if the two of you were dating other people during the breakup. Remember that while the two of you were separated life was still going on. There could have been large events that happened in each of your lives that you need to talk about.
Create a safe space to address the past without blaming and pointing fingers at each other.
8. Turn the heat up, look the part
Before you stop reading and think this step is superficial just remember that you eat with your eyes before you eat with your taste buds.
The same is true about people.
First impressions really do count. I know that it’s not the first time you see this person but for him to fall in love with you, you have to look like a million dollars (don’t go into debt doing it though).
Look attractive and smell good.
Take the time and put in the effort to make yourself presentable. Go for a new haircut, style that weave, and get your braids and nails done! Look like you share a stylist with the rich and famous.
Whenever you spend time with your partner take a nice shower and make the effort to look good and highlight your best qualities, not just for him but for yourself as well. Remember that when you look good you feel good, and confidence is way up in the sky as well. Confidence is an attractive quality that will make him fall in love with you.
The most important thing is that you do not present a fictitious character that is not the real you. Do not apply make-up if you know that you hate it and have no intention of ever wearing it again. It’s always great to try different things but stay true to yourself and who you want to be.
Make him fall in love with the real version of you.
9. Wear happiness, peace, and joy
No one wants to invite drama and misery into their lives
So, if you want your relationship to have the best chance of survival and to make him fall in love with you, you have to be a happy person. Bring peace and joy into his life. Be his happy place.
Whenever you spend time with him avoid picking up unnecessary fights and arguments.
Wear a smile and dress it with confidence. As time passes, he will fall for you because you put a smile on his face after a long day at work or fights with family.
His plate is already full, do not add to it. Help reduce the stress he feels. The next time you see him smile and give him a warm hug and embrace him. Sometimes men pretend they don’t like such, but we are all human we appreciate the human touch.
Nagging him every time you spend time with him will not make him fall in love with you. If anything, he will do anything to never spend time with you.
This is the best step on how to make him fall in love with you after a break-up.
10. Compliment, acknowledge, and appreciate him
We all love being given compliments because they validate us and make us feel good. But how often do we compliment our partners? When last did you tell him his haircut looks good on him? How often do you show him an appreciation for all the things he does for you, even the little gestures like opening the door or washing your car or the consistent morning messages that he sends to you to check up on you?
Take the time to look for and find things to compliment him on. We all love positive feedback after doing something good, so why not give positive feedback instead of waiting for it?
Complimenting him shows him that you appreciate, acknowledge, and see him.
Focus on his strengths and areas that he is proud of and enjoys and compliment those.
Be his inspiration and his number one cheerleader and support structure.
11. Cook your way to his heart
Yes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Prepare a nice three-course meal of all his favorites. Take the time to set up a nice table with his favorite colors for cutlery.
Go the extra mile and prepare his favorite meal every weekend. Create nice traditions for you as a couple and you will be well on your way to making the fire burn. As you eat this meal you will have enough time to spend quality time together.
He will forever cherish the meal and remember the time you both spent together.
Food is the best way to rekindle new love. Like I said before, it’s the little things that matter that will show him that you are serious and that you want the relationship to flourish.
You have a second chance at love so give it your best shot. For all we know it may be your last time trying to make him fall for you.
This is the secret on how to make him fall in love again after a break-up.
12. Desperation is not the key – don’t be pushy or needy let the guy breathe
All these steps need to be done for the right reasons and respectfully. Avoid being pushy and coming off too hard. Whether you are trying out new things to make him fall in love with you or you are using old techniques that work, you need to respect his space and give him freedom.
Do not become a bitter person with negative feelings just because things did not go your way. Rather let nature take its course. Sometimes you could do all this and see no change immediately but in due time he will definitely be back.
13. Avoid living in Limbo
Give yourself a time limit when you are pursuing him.
If he really is not into you then you have to force yourself to move on. It’s possible that human nature may cause you to continue to pursue him because you really love him. But sometimes letting go is also a way to show him love.
Do not pause your whole life just because you are focused on making him fall for you.
Decide to still live your best life and to still focus on other things that bring meaning and value to your life. While you follow this step-by-step method don’t let your life come to halt but also focus on your career, family, dreams, and aspirations.
Go on these amazing solo dates and learn to love yourself.
Bonus tip – cherish his hero instinct
Every man is born with an inner hero that wants to protect, save, provide and take care of their partner.
You trying to be miss independent who can move all the furniture around the house on her own and pay all her bills does not help this instinct at all. Men want to feel needed and wanted. They want to feel useful and manly, and we need to give them the platform and opportunity to do that.
Ask him to change the light bulb even though you can. Ask him to move the couch even though you can. This is not to say you have to always be a damsel in distress waiting to be saved but you need to find ways to tap into your partners’ hero instinct
He will fall in love with you even deeper if he is able to help you and protect you.
Let him lead and be in charge.
If a man feels like you have life figured out and that you don’t need him, don’t expect him to stay.
Silly as it might be this bonus tip is the golden rule that will save your relationship. If you never try any other step, then try this one.
These are the important steps on how to make him fall in love again after a break-up. Choose which ones are the important parts for you and apply them. You know your partner best, so not everything will apply to him.
You have the power to choose the best course of action for your relationship. You’ve got this and you can do it. You have made the right decision by learning how to make him fall in love again after a break-up. I applaud you for being the good person that you are. All the best and good luck.
Remember that love wins all the time and never let a broken heart stop you from pursuing love
Share some tips on falling in love daily with your partner and let’s learn from each other.
Thx